Short Story: Called Out of the Dark
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
She huddled in the corner of the room. Her small hands clutched her ears tightly, shutting off the berating in the living room and the monstrous sounds in her head that cursed the miserable life she did not choose to be living. The air in her lungs could not flow in and out properly and her lungs clamped in on her fast beating heart. Her vision narrowed to nothing more than a deep black tunnel that stretched to the end. She was so afraid; she shut her eyes so tightly she could see red through her eyeballs. The unnerving trauma cast a shadow over her life and terror gripped her soul. She felt everything around her caving in on her and wished for death to consume her right there and then.“Take this wretched life away from me!” she yelled at the top of her voice, and collapsed into a motionless lump on the sweat drenched floor.
She awoke with a shiver and felt a dry lump on the side of her mouth. Unable to see in the dark, she could only smell her own sweat, urine and what was that familiar smell? Ah yes, blood. Dried blood. That was what was caking up on the side of her mouth when she fell unconscious on the floor and knocked the sharp edge of the lamp table. She put a hand on her heart and was surprised at both the silence outside in the living room and the slow, constant beat of her heart. She almost smiled when she shook her head hard to make sure she was not dreaming. No, she was not. She was breathing and living – in the dark.
“If only my husband was still alive – none of these would be happening to me,” she lamented to herself.
130708
A tribute to my aunt who lives in torment and neglect following the demise of her husband. Once the humble wife of a rich car dealer, she now lives her daily life in shambles and abandonment, reliant on support to get around, or for most part of her miserable, slow-crawling days, lies on her side, reminiscing the once good life she had when her husband was alive, by her side, money in abundance, and no one disrespected her. She cries each time I visit her, but the pain and emotional wreck it leaves me after each visit stops me from seeing more frequently than I would like to. I need greater strength to love and care for one in such desperate need. For now, I can only write of her sorry tale.
Labels: Semi-fiction
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:23 PM,
KL, my perspective
Monday, May 18, 2009
Every journey offers lessons to be learnt - the responsibility lies on us to see them as such and grab hold of the opportunity to reflect, learn and grow; and not simply to view them as a passing phase in life - what a waste that would have been!
My trip to KL this time round was short (2 days, 1 night) - but eventful and colourful nonetheless. It was a last minute trip planned for the weekend - for my husband, it was to be a time to rest and relax; for me, it was to seek the historical and cultural heritage of the city. I have read of 3 famous buildings in KL: the Old KL Railway Station, Sultan Abdul Samad Bu
ilding and Masjid Jamek. I have only seen photographs of these beautiful structures on the internet, and would like to view them from a fresh perspective - mine. And so as we depart from Larkin Bus Terminal in JB for KL, I was like a school kid on an excursion, anticipative of an adventure. As far as I can remember, I have always been fascinated with KL - the capital city of Malaysia, the land of my birth. Although I was born in JB, I have an affinity for KL shared by fellow citizens, whether or not we agree with the political administration of the country.It is a city messy and congested - crowds of city dwellers and migrant workers dot every street and corner like ants in their colony; roads, flyovers and highways intersect at all points and junctions like wire mesh; old low-rise buildings, new skyscrapers, paint-tattered shophouses line the streets and wide land mass on low lands and high grounds - all of which evokes a sense of chaos yet unexplained congeniality. Looking at KL in a glance - one would think the city planners probably did not put much thought into its urban planning. But take a harder look and you'll see some serious planning and accomplishments in certain, concentrated areas. The downtown KLCC (Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre) arena, for instance.
There is the jewel-in-the-crown, the magnificent Petronas Twin Towers. Seen from any angle at any time of the day, this behemoth of a structure is sure to leave you spell-bound as you marvel at the ingenuous architecture and engineering that goes into the design and construction of this impressive landmark that has come to be identified as the symbol of national and economic progress for Malaysia to the rest of the world.
The Philharmonic Hall lies in the heart of the Twin Towers, making yet another statement - that it is both grand and cultured. Walk through the corridors and stairway of the Philharmonic Hall and observe its grandeur, made more poignant by the congregation of distinguished, international musicians, performers and artists.
The huge shopping mall, Suria KLCC, attracts both locals and foreigners to its wide and diverse range of retail outlets that cater to both the middle and upper class shoppers. In front of Suria KLCC is a large park, lake and jogging track for urban dwellers to enjoy nature's beauty against the backdrop of the gigantic Twin Towers. The Aquaria KLCC and Convention Halls draws throngs of people to its many trade fairs and exhibitions of international class. I must say, I am impressed by the modernity of them all.
Now, b
ack in the city, walking under a scorching, tropical sun was no laughing matter. My husband and I had a few moments of conflict over my taking too many pictures, rendering him hot, burnt and frustrated in the sweltering heat. But I had to see those 3 historical monuments - they were the reason I came to KL. My hair messy, my tee-shirt clinging to my sweat-drenched back, my skin burning from the immense heat, I braved the natural elements to capture their glory on film. These 3 structures share 2 common traits – they are slated for conservation under the National Heritage Act, and the architects who designed them were all British and inspired by the Moorish architecture of Muslim mosques in India.
Jason and I travelled around the city on monorails and LRTs - the best way to observe a city and its people. It is my personal belief that the best place to observe the lives of ordinary citizens of a city going about their daily routine is in the city's trains (monorails/LRTs). There you'll see sleep-deprived blue collared workers dozing off, students wearily making their way to and from school and a whole string of remedial classes and extra curricular activities, white collared workers clutching their briefcases and speaking into their mobile phones, mothers cradling their newborns while fathers hold the hands of toddlers or push the pram. Everyday people about their everyday lives - a city in motion. It struck me then that people anywhere all round the world are the same - we are all trying to survive in our respective environments; no matter how harsh or comfortable, backward or modern.
Now back in Singapore, sitting in my comfortable tall-backed chair, typing on my computer as I look out into the greenery outside my window, I reflect on KL with nostalgia. I do love the city, despite its chaos. I do love its people, despite its often high crime rate. I do love its history, despite its lack of proper upkeep. I do love its government, despite its many apparent flaws. I guess I can rightly conclude that I do love the land of my birth, no matter how imperfect and slow its national progress is.
Now, b
ack in the city, walking under a scorching, tropical sun was no laughing matter. My husband and I had a few moments of conflict over my taking too many pictures, rendering him hot, burnt and frustrated in the sweltering heat. But I had to see those 3 historical monuments - they were the reason I came to KL. My hair messy, my tee-shirt clinging to my sweat-drenched back, my skin burning from the immense heat, I braved the natural elements to capture their glory on film. These 3 structures share 2 common traits – they are slated for conservation under the National Heritage Act, and the architects who designed them were all British and inspired by the Moorish architecture of Muslim mosques in India.Jason and I travelled around the city on monorails and LRTs - the best way to observe a city and its people. It is my personal belief that the best place to observe the lives of ordinary citizens of a city going about their daily routine is in the city's trains (monorails/LRTs). There you'll see sleep-deprived blue collared workers dozing off, students wearily making their way to and from school and a whole string of remedial classes and extra curricular activities, white collared workers clutching their briefcases and speaking into their mobile phones, mothers cradling their newborns while fathers hold the hands of toddlers or push the pram. Everyday people about their everyday lives - a city in motion. It struck me then that people anywhere all round the world are the same - we are all trying to survive in our respective environments; no matter how harsh or comfortable, backward or modern.
Now back in Singapore, sitting in my comfortable tall-backed chair, typing on my computer as I look out into the greenery outside my window, I reflect on KL with nostalgia. I do love the city, despite its chaos. I do love its people, despite its often high crime rate. I do love its history, despite its lack of proper upkeep. I do love its government, despite its many apparent flaws. I guess I can rightly conclude that I do love the land of my birth, no matter how imperfect and slow its national progress is.
Labels: Personal reflection, Photos
posted by Angeline Tan @ 7:03 PM,
Short story: Home - where we belong
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
No matter how many times she swore never to let her father's voice torment her, it always did. She was always living in fear of her father's sudden temper outbursts and the pain and shame from caning that she has come to associate her father to a tyrant, a sort of autocratic leader like Stalin who ruled with an iron fist. She sometimes joked with her elder brother Wallace that father was a 'communist' – when he spoke, no one dared to interrupt. What he says goes. No one could question nor defy him.
Yet she understood the hard side of her father. She has heard him scream in the middle of the night, while he was asleep, a scream so tormenting she found it hard to sleep after. In the morning, as she took her usual seat at the kitchen table, she would eat her breakfast in silence and observed her father intently, looking for any sign that could explain the mystery the night before. None. His face offered no answer; in fact, he did not look bothered at all. She winced in disappointment. Finally, unable to hold her curiosity no longer, she caught her mother when she was alone cooking, and creeping up quietly behind her, while stealing glances at the kitchen doorway to make sure her father did not step in, asked in a low tone, "what happened last night?"
Her mother, wiping a film of sweat off from her forehead, answered softly: "He dreamt that he was being beaten up by his father. He always does. Even at this age - can you imagine? You see, your grandfather was a very violent man. And your father had it the most. He was most severely beaten by your grandfather all through his boyhood. And when your dad dreams, it was real to him. He still feels the agony of his childhood..."
Mindy's heart broke. 'So that was why he was always so hard on us,' she thought to herself. Excusing herself, she went up to her room and closed the door behind her. Tearing out a piece of paper from her notebook, she sat down and wrote her brother Wallace a letter.
"Dear Wallace, I miss you. It has been three years since you last came home. Dad and Mom miss you too. We all do, you know that, don't you? I am writing to explain why Dad hit you so hard the last time you came home announcing your plans to drop out of university. Please understand that Dad placed high hopes on you to be the first graduate in the family. You know Dad, he was always studious, reading late into the night, even bearing hopes of going back to school himself. Can you imagine? At 58? But that is Dad. He loves knowledge, and had hoped that you would too. It was understandable why he reacted so strongly when you decided to drop out of university. You were given an opportunity he never was.
You see, Dad had a rough childhood. He was a hard working boy, and had big dreams of being a policeman, but his father could not afford to send him to high school. When his father found out that he has not been tending to the chickens and pigs in the farm, but had instead been hanging out in the backyard of schools to listen to lessons being taught, he became furious and chased him around the 'kampong' compound, hitting him again and again with a thick wooden rod.
How do I know this? Mom told me. You see, last night, I heard Dad scream in his sleep. And when I asked Mom this morning, she told me the whole story. Dad always dream the same dream - and he is 58 years old! He is still being tormented at this age. I am not writing to justify the pain Dad caused you. I am writing to make you understand why Dad leashed out on you in such anger.
Wallace, stop running away from Dad. Stop running away from our family. I don't want you to get married some day, have kids, and still dream of being beaten by Dad when you are old and grey.
Come home soon ok? I love you, big bro.
Love, Mindy."
That year, her brother Wallace came home to visit. He brought with him a new girlfriend the family has never met before - a young, sweet-looking Thai girl whose age was the same as Mindy. Since Wallace's return, things at home brightened up. For one, Mindy's father came to smile more often, and spoke kinder to them both. His outbursts became less frequent. Mother cooked nicer dishes too; an occasional Thai dish or two; a new skill she learnt from Eleenikrabot, Wallace's girlfriend. Even the family dog barked lesser, Mindy noticed, which has found for itself a new joy - chasing birds across the front porch on hot, lazy afternoons.
Growing up, she has always wished she was born into a different family, in a kinder home. Yet through the years, she has come to thank God for her imperfect parents and her intolerable brother Wallace. She has come to realise that even her parents have their past demons, and even they are learning to deal with it. She realised that no one set of parents have it altogether, that no matter how hard they try, they would be less than perfect.
Standing at the church altar with her handsome groom in hand, Mindy turned around to look at her aged parents and a beaming Wallace with his newly wedded Thai wife by his side. Mindy smiled and under the veil, she prayed that as she steps into a new phase in her life, into a family of her own now, she would always carry with her a valuable lesson learnt – that there is no greater place on earth but a place to belong to, a unit of identification, a family to call one’s own.
Yet she understood the hard side of her father. She has heard him scream in the middle of the night, while he was asleep, a scream so tormenting she found it hard to sleep after. In the morning, as she took her usual seat at the kitchen table, she would eat her breakfast in silence and observed her father intently, looking for any sign that could explain the mystery the night before. None. His face offered no answer; in fact, he did not look bothered at all. She winced in disappointment. Finally, unable to hold her curiosity no longer, she caught her mother when she was alone cooking, and creeping up quietly behind her, while stealing glances at the kitchen doorway to make sure her father did not step in, asked in a low tone, "what happened last night?"
Her mother, wiping a film of sweat off from her forehead, answered softly: "He dreamt that he was being beaten up by his father. He always does. Even at this age - can you imagine? You see, your grandfather was a very violent man. And your father had it the most. He was most severely beaten by your grandfather all through his boyhood. And when your dad dreams, it was real to him. He still feels the agony of his childhood..."
Mindy's heart broke. 'So that was why he was always so hard on us,' she thought to herself. Excusing herself, she went up to her room and closed the door behind her. Tearing out a piece of paper from her notebook, she sat down and wrote her brother Wallace a letter.
"Dear Wallace, I miss you. It has been three years since you last came home. Dad and Mom miss you too. We all do, you know that, don't you? I am writing to explain why Dad hit you so hard the last time you came home announcing your plans to drop out of university. Please understand that Dad placed high hopes on you to be the first graduate in the family. You know Dad, he was always studious, reading late into the night, even bearing hopes of going back to school himself. Can you imagine? At 58? But that is Dad. He loves knowledge, and had hoped that you would too. It was understandable why he reacted so strongly when you decided to drop out of university. You were given an opportunity he never was.
You see, Dad had a rough childhood. He was a hard working boy, and had big dreams of being a policeman, but his father could not afford to send him to high school. When his father found out that he has not been tending to the chickens and pigs in the farm, but had instead been hanging out in the backyard of schools to listen to lessons being taught, he became furious and chased him around the 'kampong' compound, hitting him again and again with a thick wooden rod.
How do I know this? Mom told me. You see, last night, I heard Dad scream in his sleep. And when I asked Mom this morning, she told me the whole story. Dad always dream the same dream - and he is 58 years old! He is still being tormented at this age. I am not writing to justify the pain Dad caused you. I am writing to make you understand why Dad leashed out on you in such anger.
Wallace, stop running away from Dad. Stop running away from our family. I don't want you to get married some day, have kids, and still dream of being beaten by Dad when you are old and grey.
Come home soon ok? I love you, big bro.
Love, Mindy."
That year, her brother Wallace came home to visit. He brought with him a new girlfriend the family has never met before - a young, sweet-looking Thai girl whose age was the same as Mindy. Since Wallace's return, things at home brightened up. For one, Mindy's father came to smile more often, and spoke kinder to them both. His outbursts became less frequent. Mother cooked nicer dishes too; an occasional Thai dish or two; a new skill she learnt from Eleenikrabot, Wallace's girlfriend. Even the family dog barked lesser, Mindy noticed, which has found for itself a new joy - chasing birds across the front porch on hot, lazy afternoons.
Growing up, she has always wished she was born into a different family, in a kinder home. Yet through the years, she has come to thank God for her imperfect parents and her intolerable brother Wallace. She has come to realise that even her parents have their past demons, and even they are learning to deal with it. She realised that no one set of parents have it altogether, that no matter how hard they try, they would be less than perfect.
Standing at the church altar with her handsome groom in hand, Mindy turned around to look at her aged parents and a beaming Wallace with his newly wedded Thai wife by his side. Mindy smiled and under the veil, she prayed that as she steps into a new phase in her life, into a family of her own now, she would always carry with her a valuable lesson learnt – that there is no greater place on earth but a place to belong to, a unit of identification, a family to call one’s own.
Labels: Family, Semi-fiction
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:06 AM,
Loneliness sobers
Monday, April 27, 2009
At 66, he confessed that loneliness knows no age – it strikes anyone, anywhere. And loneliness cannot be explained – it has to be personally experienced to be understood. He has probably not felt lonelier than he does now, with the absence of his wife who has never left home for more than a month at a stretch. She is halfway across the world in dark and dreary London, to care for her daughter who has just given birth to a lovely baby son.
He used to live his life around a fixed routine – waking at half past five in the morning, have a simple breakfast made up of two slices of plain bread and a cup of hot drink, then jog for an hour at the park nearby, before heading to his shop to clean up the drains and surroundings, picking up dried leaves, watering and trimming the plants. He comes home by noon, cooks himself a simple lunch of plain porridge with lots of vegetables and a few slices of fish, reads the newspapers for a couple of hours before taking his nap. He wakes in the evening to go out for dinner with his wife, strolls by the beach as the night wears on, before heading home to read some more, and off to bed by half past ten.
He seemed perfectly fine with this routine, until his wife left for London. He initially tried to stick to the routine still, but after a few days, the reality of being absolutely alone sunk in. He started to loathe the emptiness in the house, of not having someone at home to talk to, to banter with. He dreaded returning to a lifeless, concrete enclosure, and would rather hang out in coffee shops and eating places with old friends and chat till the wee hours of the morning.
Such is the power of loneliness that it has made him sober up in his parenting and social skills. He has time, lots of it, to reflect on his strict upbringing of his four children, who are now residing in various parts of the world, returning home to visit far fewer times than he would have preferred, given the geographical distance in between. He is sorry for his lack of tact in his interaction with his family and friends.
At 66, he is making a conscious effort to be tactful, patient, gracious, caring and loving. For this I am extremely proud of hm. He is my father.
Labels: Family
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:35 AM,
Called out of darkness
Sunday, April 26, 2009
"You're white as snow, but you have a mind of a slave." - a line from Human Stain, a moving movie starring Anthony Hopkins, Wentworth Miller & Nicole Kidman.I too, am a prisoner of my own mind. I am a prisoner of my own fear. When I was 10, I feared the apocalypse - prophesies of doomsday, the destruction of earth and mankind. I was both fearful and indignant, thinking if the world is going to be destroyed, what was the point of studying? Of learning? Of living lives? Such was my fear and indignance that my dad brought me to my church pastor, the gentlemanly and neatly-dressed Pastor Nicholas, who looked me very kindly in the eyes and said: "Angeline, Jesus has called us to be faithful where we are planted. So until He comes a second time, we have to do what are called to do. As a student, you have to keep studying hard. You got to keep growing and learning, applying your mind to be your best, until Jesus comes. We mustn't slack."
His words, though simple, struck a deep chord in the core of my being, and from then on, I promised myself and my God to live the best I could. And live I did. I studied hard and played hard. I loved much and broke many a hearts, as mine was many a times similarly broken. I did not turn away from Pastor Nicholas' words, until recently, when another fear gripped me - the fear of evil.
Bombarded by news of terrorism, sex syndicates, school shoot-outs, brutal sexual assaults, cold-blooded murders, domestic violence, acts of perversion - I feel like a country mouse trapped in the black dungeon of a city in ruins. I am fearful of the darkness that surround me, the environment that I live in - and I can't seem to find a way out. I am almost turning into a reluctant paranoid.
Realising the dire situation I am allowing myself to slip into, I decided I need help - I need to reach upwards and climb out of the dark dungeon of paranoia. As I write now, I am stepping out.
This I know and this I confess:
I have been redeemed - I am white as snow. I walk under a divine covering. I choose therefore to stop thinking like a slave. I am free. I walk with my head held up high. Though I am not complacent of the fact that evil surrounds me still, my banner of victory is lifted higher. I walk in full assurance of His love, grace and mercy. I am free indeed.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:24 AM,
Choices
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Life is limited by circumstances but defined by choices. Our choices will either make life work for us or against us.
A simple truth, yet often overlooked, by the sheer fact that we are too bogged down by the frustrations in life - the little foxes that spoil the vine - and thus fail to see the big picture of the importance of CHOICES.
I came to this realisation this morning after my swim. You see, exercise is never a convenient choice to make. It is never easy, nor convenient, for me to decide to run 30km and swim 4km every week. It is a choice I have to make, knowing the importance that choice means to my physical, mental and overall well-being. Without daily vigorous exercise, I am perpetually lethargic, lacking in energy, restless and wrapped in a bubble of frustration. With exercise, I spring to life, making every moment in my life count, appreciating the beauty of life as I go along. It becomes pure ecstacy for me, the immediate effect of exercise. I can't do without it. But I have to make a choice to exercise. To get the motivation going at the start of the day is perhaps the most trudging moment of all - this is where the road forks in two - to make a choice that rewards or a choice that destructs.
May you find the strength to make the right choices that propels you in the direction of a fulfilling and rewarding life.
A simple truth, yet often overlooked, by the sheer fact that we are too bogged down by the frustrations in life - the little foxes that spoil the vine - and thus fail to see the big picture of the importance of CHOICES.
I came to this realisation this morning after my swim. You see, exercise is never a convenient choice to make. It is never easy, nor convenient, for me to decide to run 30km and swim 4km every week. It is a choice I have to make, knowing the importance that choice means to my physical, mental and overall well-being. Without daily vigorous exercise, I am perpetually lethargic, lacking in energy, restless and wrapped in a bubble of frustration. With exercise, I spring to life, making every moment in my life count, appreciating the beauty of life as I go along. It becomes pure ecstacy for me, the immediate effect of exercise. I can't do without it. But I have to make a choice to exercise. To get the motivation going at the start of the day is perhaps the most trudging moment of all - this is where the road forks in two - to make a choice that rewards or a choice that destructs.
May you find the strength to make the right choices that propels you in the direction of a fulfilling and rewarding life.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:15 PM,
Fourth dimension
I toss and turn in bed each night as my body falls into a deep sleep and my mind prepares itself for a couple of hours of 4th dimensional adventure. I call it the fourth dimension because it doesn't take form in either of the three dimensions that we know of; it is a dimension intangible in the natural yet tangible in the subconscious. It is my world of dreams.
In it I live and breathe a sum total of wishes and desires that never and have yet to take form in the natural. I have no control over it - I am not the master in this instance, and I am subject to graphic images and scenes that sometimes still makes my heart skip a beat when I think of how real and magnificent the manifestations were.
In it I have been a lover of many, a friend of well known political figures in their youthful days; and in not so glamourous moments, a fugitive - running away from various harms. The running away scenes are aplenty - I can always remember running away from assassins. Yes, assassins! Absurd as it may sound, this is the fourth dimension after all.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 2:17 AM,
Life & Death
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I have taken to writing poetry recently. This time I thought I'll do it differently - i.e. I will share the thought process that went into writing this poetry, so that my readers can go along with me and understand why I wrote what I wrote, and why I composed it the way I did - i.e. the choice of words, the punctuations, the order of prose, etc.This poem has 2 stanzas.
The first stanza has to be read in reverse order; i.e. from bottom up. The bottom is the start point, and the top is the end point. This is because when I first conceptualised this idea, the words in my mind were "life and death" - thus I wrote "life and death" first, and I had to work backwards, a step at a time, to the starting point of a man and woman's relationship.
Notice that each line ends with a full stop. This is to signify the different cycles/phases in a man and woman's relationship which has a beginning and an end.
Notice also the first stanza has only seven lines, and not the usual eight. This is to signify a continuance to the relationship - it does not quite end with these cycles/phases - it goes on to the next stanza (which will be explained accordingly below).
Between life and death.
Between having and losing.
Between appreciating and despising
Between understanding and judging.
Between staying and leaving.
Between loving and rejecting.
Between accepting and refusing.
The relationship first begins with acceptance, then loving, then choosing to stay together, moving on to understanding each other, appreciating each other, recognising the good fortune of having one another and finally, separation by death.
Here, the poem takes a twist. The second stanza is to be read in the usual order; i.e. from top to bottom.
Notice the absence of full stops or commas at the end of each line - this is to signify the eternity of the love relationship between a man and his wife which never ends, not even in death.
Between a man and a wife
The love lives on
Even in death
So now that you have a better understanding of this poem, here's how it should be properly read:
Between life and death.
Between having and losing.
Between understanding and judging.
Between staying and leaving.
Between loving and rejecting.
Between accepting and refusing.
Between a man and a wife
The love lives on
Even in death
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:50 PM,
Soar, Junior, Soar!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Waters above your head you’re swimming
You can’t feel your feet but you’re trying
Take a moment now you can’t breathe
You keep afloat just so you live
Whatever you can’t keep you can’t throw
Whatever you don’t need you don’t sow
Now you choose to run you must soar
I’m close behind you can do more
You can’t feel your feet but you’re trying
Take a moment now you can’t breathe
You keep afloat just so you live
Whatever you can’t keep you can’t throw
Whatever you don’t need you don’t sow
Now you choose to run you must soar
I’m close behind you can do more
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:17 PM,
Him at work
Monday, March 23, 2009
He sits up straighthis legs on the floor flat
His head cocked
his eyes narrowed
He rests a hand under his chin... pondering
then quickly removes it
as a bright idea strikes
His fingers move as swiftly as his mind
double the speed to catch up
He labours hard at work
-my husband
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:58 PM,
Tis' not mine
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Many a splendid thing - not all are mine to possessGreat a blessing, the little that I have
Many a years between
Many a miles apart
Many a paths crossed
Though none between the two
Many a friends made
Many a joy had
Many an adventure rode
Though none shares the two
Many a beautiful thing - we have been blessed
Our halves our greatest possession, everything that we have
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:17 PM,
Distractions
Sunday, March 15, 2009
We have to admit - there are far too many distractions in our personal world today compared to our forefathers'. There are far too many distractions often disguised as things that we should attend to as soon as possible or we might forget to do them later. These are what I call nominal distractions.
Nominal distractions are a little tricky. They are certainly not bad; they are merely your day-to-day chores that often need immediate attention. For example, the little spot over there needs cleaning; the table is too dusty; the strands of hair gathered at the corner of the room is disturbing me; the laptop is greasy and needs wiping; the room is too humid - I need to put up the curtain and open the window; oh, the flower pot at the balcony is falling over - I need to prop it up; oh dear me, I forgot to put the clothes to wash - I need to do so before the sky turns dark and rains... and the list of nominal things to do goes on and on and on - until we put a firm feet on the ground and say "Enough is enough!"
Then there are the "thin-line" distractions. Again, they are not easy to identify. They are often disguised as things that seem important, especially in the area of relationship building, but without giving serious thoughts to our options and weighing the consequences, they can actually take us away from what we actually need to be doing at a given moment. For example, you should be finishing up your work but you go out for coffee with your friends; you should be spending time with your family but you go out for a movie, you should be attending to the huge pile of bills but you go for a spin in your best friend's new Harley, you should be doing your research but you download an endless stream of podcasts, checks out your Facebook, posts entries on your blog and fire away your numerous tweets on Twitter. You know what I mean.
So how do we deal with these seemingly harmless distractions which are really taking away from us precious time that could be put to better and more efficient use? The answer, though an obvious one, requires a great deal of effort to execute. The answer is "Focus". Duh, you may say. After all, isn't the opposite of "distraction", "focus"? Yes, but what makes "focus" achievable? I believe there are 3 important elements to eliminate our impertinent need to be distracted by nominal and thin-line distractions and focus our efforts on what really needs doing. They are Consciousness, Discipline and Action (CDA).
Consciousness - You need to remind yourself aloud that there are bound to be things that your eyes will catch notice of, that will distract you from what you intend to do. You got to be conscious of the distractive environment that you live in, and make a conscious, firm and cold decision not to succumb to those distractions, no matter how urgent or important they may seem.
Discipline - You will notice that "discipline" falls in between "consciousness" and "action". Discipline is the crucial point where you hold your ground and brave through the storm of distractions. Your eye catches note of something, your head turns in the direction of the object, your heart softens at the thought of the feeling of pleasure and satisfaction once the obejct of your distraction has been attended to, but your head is firmly stuck to your neck and you refuse to budge or move from where you are to attend to the beckoning distraction. Well done!
Action - Now, action plan. Once you have braved through both the conscious and discipline stages, you keep your eyes, head, heart and mind on what you need to be doing. You keep keeping at it until the distraction fades way. Distractions are like flies. They are attracted to food. Once you shield your food (things you are meant to do) with a cover (CDA), the flies disperse.
May you find greater efficiency in your work and productivity with your time in the coming days!
Nominal distractions are a little tricky. They are certainly not bad; they are merely your day-to-day chores that often need immediate attention. For example, the little spot over there needs cleaning; the table is too dusty; the strands of hair gathered at the corner of the room is disturbing me; the laptop is greasy and needs wiping; the room is too humid - I need to put up the curtain and open the window; oh, the flower pot at the balcony is falling over - I need to prop it up; oh dear me, I forgot to put the clothes to wash - I need to do so before the sky turns dark and rains... and the list of nominal things to do goes on and on and on - until we put a firm feet on the ground and say "Enough is enough!"
Then there are the "thin-line" distractions. Again, they are not easy to identify. They are often disguised as things that seem important, especially in the area of relationship building, but without giving serious thoughts to our options and weighing the consequences, they can actually take us away from what we actually need to be doing at a given moment. For example, you should be finishing up your work but you go out for coffee with your friends; you should be spending time with your family but you go out for a movie, you should be attending to the huge pile of bills but you go for a spin in your best friend's new Harley, you should be doing your research but you download an endless stream of podcasts, checks out your Facebook, posts entries on your blog and fire away your numerous tweets on Twitter. You know what I mean.
So how do we deal with these seemingly harmless distractions which are really taking away from us precious time that could be put to better and more efficient use? The answer, though an obvious one, requires a great deal of effort to execute. The answer is "Focus". Duh, you may say. After all, isn't the opposite of "distraction", "focus"? Yes, but what makes "focus" achievable? I believe there are 3 important elements to eliminate our impertinent need to be distracted by nominal and thin-line distractions and focus our efforts on what really needs doing. They are Consciousness, Discipline and Action (CDA).
Consciousness - You need to remind yourself aloud that there are bound to be things that your eyes will catch notice of, that will distract you from what you intend to do. You got to be conscious of the distractive environment that you live in, and make a conscious, firm and cold decision not to succumb to those distractions, no matter how urgent or important they may seem.
Discipline - You will notice that "discipline" falls in between "consciousness" and "action". Discipline is the crucial point where you hold your ground and brave through the storm of distractions. Your eye catches note of something, your head turns in the direction of the object, your heart softens at the thought of the feeling of pleasure and satisfaction once the obejct of your distraction has been attended to, but your head is firmly stuck to your neck and you refuse to budge or move from where you are to attend to the beckoning distraction. Well done!
Action - Now, action plan. Once you have braved through both the conscious and discipline stages, you keep your eyes, head, heart and mind on what you need to be doing. You keep keeping at it until the distraction fades way. Distractions are like flies. They are attracted to food. Once you shield your food (things you are meant to do) with a cover (CDA), the flies disperse.
May you find greater efficiency in your work and productivity with your time in the coming days!
Labels: Help management
posted by Angeline Tan @ 6:32 PM,
Children and Commitment
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Thoughts on having children: on one hand you have less personal time and higher expenditure; on the other hand you are building a heritage of love.
Someone once said, the amount of money you earn will not count at your deathbed; what matters is the people that are gathered at your deathbed. This brings to point the importance of building quality relationships with family and friends, rather than just accumulating wealth for personal achievement and satisfaction. Everything in life is a trade off. You lose something, you gain something.
You lose time, you gain achievement.
You lose energy, you gain fitness.
You lose devotion, you gain love.
You lose procrastination, you gain discipline.
You lose reluctance, you gain commitment.
You lose personal agendas, you gain friends.
You lose personal freedom, you gain children. And children are a blessing from the Lord. Happy is the man who has a quiver full of them!
Labels: Family, Personal reflection, Photos
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:38 PM,
The Plunge
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Today, I looked over the edge and leapt.
And when I did, my senses went awry.
I was assaulted by a tirade of apprehension and uncertainty,
but I stood firm on the anchor of hope.
I was tempted again and again,
to steer to the safe waters of the coast,
but resisted the contemplation,
simply because I have already taken the plunge
and I must move forward.
And when I did, my senses went awry.
I was assaulted by a tirade of apprehension and uncertainty,
but I stood firm on the anchor of hope.
I was tempted again and again,
to steer to the safe waters of the coast,
but resisted the contemplation,
simply because I have already taken the plunge
and I must move forward.
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:31 PM,
They taught me
Sunday, February 15, 2009
People I would like to meet before I fade away: Lee Kuan Yew, Condoleezza Rice, Maya Angelou, Archie Weller. And not just to meet, but to hear them pour their hearts out about things that matter to them, to take in their experiences, to receive their wisdom, to learn from their mistakes and to hold them in admiration and respect.
They have each impacted me in ways unique to their lifetime contribution to the world at large: Lee Kuan Yew politically, Condoleezza Rice intellectually, Maya Angelou racially, Archie Weller socially.
If I were to write a biography of a famous person, it would probably be Maya Angelou. Why? Because she went from a victim of abuse to a fighter of cause. She fights for the cause of women; black women particularly, justice, human rights, Aids, political stability and a whole lot of other causes affecting the voice-less; people who can't speak or fight for themselves.
Though I live and breathe in a comfortable, progressive and stable environment, I owe it to Maya Angelou to fight my fledgling cause of being a writer - to document the history, aspirations and achievements of our lives and to offer solace to others who identify with my writings.
They have each impacted me in ways unique to their lifetime contribution to the world at large: Lee Kuan Yew politically, Condoleezza Rice intellectually, Maya Angelou racially, Archie Weller socially.
If I were to write a biography of a famous person, it would probably be Maya Angelou. Why? Because she went from a victim of abuse to a fighter of cause. She fights for the cause of women; black women particularly, justice, human rights, Aids, political stability and a whole lot of other causes affecting the voice-less; people who can't speak or fight for themselves.
Though I live and breathe in a comfortable, progressive and stable environment, I owe it to Maya Angelou to fight my fledgling cause of being a writer - to document the history, aspirations and achievements of our lives and to offer solace to others who identify with my writings.
Labels: Author, Public figure, Writing
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:58 PM,
Humanity
Thursday, February 12, 2009
A worthy cause – the investment into humanity. The help rendered below may seem small compared to the vast, pressing need of thousands of victims; nevertheless it is better to help even one, than not at all. I speak for myself.
Straits Times - Feb 12, 2009
Straits Times - Feb 12, 2009
Photographers' mission to help tsunami victims
By Gwendolyn Ng
PHOTOGRAPHER Alex Soh can still recall the ache he felt as he watched a sack of rice fall off a truck in a Sri Lankan village and a group of boys scramble to scoop up the grains as rain pelted down.
Batticaloa village was just one of many that had been devastated by the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. Yet, more than five years on, residents are still struggling to rebuild their lives.
Mr Soh, 36, was there six months ago with The Rice Project, an initiative he started with his photographer friend Triston Yeo, also 36.
Its aim is to document the lives of tsunami victims, even though the disaster has faded from international headlines.
Its aim is to document the lives of tsunami victims, even though the disaster has faded from international headlines.
The ambitious undertaking began with him organising a photography competition requiring participants to submit a photo essay on the theme of 'Living'.
Instead of cameras or cash, the prize was a 10-day photo expedition to Sri Lanka last August to distribute rice and document the lives of people in Trincomalee and Batticaloa, two of the worst-hit towns on the east coast.
The team that went included the six competition winners - student Damien Chng, 17; systems specialist Tom Low, 32; and photographers Aaron Lim, 27; Denice Lim, 20; Jean Loo, 24; and Casandra Wong, 22.
Along with taking photos, they distributed 16 tonnes of rice to more than 500 families displaced by the tsunami and civil strife.
An exhibition of their photographs will be held at VivoCity from tomorrow to Feb 22.
Prints will be on sale and the money raised will go towards building about 50 houses for tsunami victims later this year.
'As we distribute rice, we hope that the stomachs of the tsunami victims will be momentarily filled,' said Mr Soh.
'However, this is only a temporary measure. The next step would be to restore houses in the affected areas.'
Copyright © 2007 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved. Privacy Statement & Condition of Access
Source: http://www.straitstimes.com/Singapore/Story/STIStory_337157.html
Labels: Social
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:54 AM,
Corner
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I took the train all by myself to the airport, hoping to be as near as possible to the departure point of the country; to be near another country - maybe Melbourne, maybe elsewhere, I don't know.
I refused to listen to my usual podcasts, so I wouldn't be listening to other voices, and forced myself to listen to my own voice. I desperately needed to listen to my heart's cry. It has been whimpering all along for many months now, and I have simply ignored it, by getting myself busy with other things and listening to various podcasts. I have stopped listening to music because I wanted to gain knowledge, not just melody and relaxation. After months of ignoring the whimpers of my heart, I think it just broke. You know how sometimes when you break, but you just can't cry? The tears just won't flow, and you just purse your lips, refuse to speak to anyone and nurse your heart break.
I walked the length of the airport to look at the departure flights to various cities of the world, and wonder why I can't be on one of those flights.
Reaching the end of the airport, I sat down to write. As I do, I realised I have stopped empathising with people in worse plight than mine - people earning less in harsher and more hostile environment, working in less rewarding and fulfilling jobs. I have taken my eyes off them and looked in to myself instead and seen a deeper hole, a darker black.
I am jaded and burnt. I have lost my axe head and purpose. Like a chess player cornered at a game, I don't know which next move to make.
As I walked the airport once more, looking at the various departure flights, I thought:
What if I go to the most beautiful place on earth but have not friends?
What if I behold the most glorious sight and have not love?
That was when I decided to go home. I found my feet hurrying back to my husband and family - familiarity that is my solid foundation.
I refused to listen to my usual podcasts, so I wouldn't be listening to other voices, and forced myself to listen to my own voice. I desperately needed to listen to my heart's cry. It has been whimpering all along for many months now, and I have simply ignored it, by getting myself busy with other things and listening to various podcasts. I have stopped listening to music because I wanted to gain knowledge, not just melody and relaxation. After months of ignoring the whimpers of my heart, I think it just broke. You know how sometimes when you break, but you just can't cry? The tears just won't flow, and you just purse your lips, refuse to speak to anyone and nurse your heart break.
I walked the length of the airport to look at the departure flights to various cities of the world, and wonder why I can't be on one of those flights.
Reaching the end of the airport, I sat down to write. As I do, I realised I have stopped empathising with people in worse plight than mine - people earning less in harsher and more hostile environment, working in less rewarding and fulfilling jobs. I have taken my eyes off them and looked in to myself instead and seen a deeper hole, a darker black.
I am jaded and burnt. I have lost my axe head and purpose. Like a chess player cornered at a game, I don't know which next move to make.
As I walked the airport once more, looking at the various departure flights, I thought:
What if I go to the most beautiful place on earth but have not friends?
What if I behold the most glorious sight and have not love?
That was when I decided to go home. I found my feet hurrying back to my husband and family - familiarity that is my solid foundation.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:42 AM,
Recluse
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Over the course of time she has come to be subdued in her nature. Once a go-getter and never one to be intimidated by situation or people, she is now content to recline to the backseat - cruising along a path littered with bags of regrets and shattered dreams.
He looks at me in the eye and I glare back. 'I dare you to move me from where I am, coz nobody's getting me out of here. If I have to move, I will move myself.'
He withdraws his gaze and retreats, as if frightened by my threat. Again, I have been a pain not just to my surroundings, but to myself. I am stuck, and I am here to stay.
Truth is I wish not. But I realise this is my lot - that change doesn't come from others making the case for me, but the hard work rests with me. If I want to get out of my situation, I have to do so by my own will, strength and might.
Trouble is, I have none of the three - will, strength and might. Months and months of routine and mundane responsibilities root me deeper into the black cushioned seat. Sometimes I get a cold from the inactivity, sometimes I walk to the bathroom and cry.
He refuses to give up and comes round one more time. What do you want to achieve out there? I soften at his question, realising he meant genuine concern and would help if I let him.
'I don't know, really. I thought I am a go-getter and I have answers to everything, especially about things concerning my life. But I am wrong. I don't know what I want now. I want to be a story teller, but it sounds too idealistic to be achieved. And hang on, I know what you are going to tell me - that as long as I can dream it, anything is possible - I can achieve it. I have come not to believe in those tales anymore.'
He sees the forlorn look in my eyes and feels a pang in his own heart. I know, because I know him. He feels this way about anyone lost. And I am lost. The one others thought is admirable and indestructible - is held captive by her own prison.
The pain in my head throbs more violently. I wince like a caterpillar crushed under someone's foot. 'Help me get out of here,' I hold his hand and plead sincerely.
'Please.'
'I can be helped, I know I can. Don't let me stay this way. Help me through this blackness. I will be useful again.'
He looks at me in the eye and I glare back. 'I dare you to move me from where I am, coz nobody's getting me out of here. If I have to move, I will move myself.'
He withdraws his gaze and retreats, as if frightened by my threat. Again, I have been a pain not just to my surroundings, but to myself. I am stuck, and I am here to stay.
Truth is I wish not. But I realise this is my lot - that change doesn't come from others making the case for me, but the hard work rests with me. If I want to get out of my situation, I have to do so by my own will, strength and might.
Trouble is, I have none of the three - will, strength and might. Months and months of routine and mundane responsibilities root me deeper into the black cushioned seat. Sometimes I get a cold from the inactivity, sometimes I walk to the bathroom and cry.
He refuses to give up and comes round one more time. What do you want to achieve out there? I soften at his question, realising he meant genuine concern and would help if I let him.
'I don't know, really. I thought I am a go-getter and I have answers to everything, especially about things concerning my life. But I am wrong. I don't know what I want now. I want to be a story teller, but it sounds too idealistic to be achieved. And hang on, I know what you are going to tell me - that as long as I can dream it, anything is possible - I can achieve it. I have come not to believe in those tales anymore.'
He sees the forlorn look in my eyes and feels a pang in his own heart. I know, because I know him. He feels this way about anyone lost. And I am lost. The one others thought is admirable and indestructible - is held captive by her own prison.
The pain in my head throbs more violently. I wince like a caterpillar crushed under someone's foot. 'Help me get out of here,' I hold his hand and plead sincerely.
'Please.'
'I can be helped, I know I can. Don't let me stay this way. Help me through this blackness. I will be useful again.'
Labels: Semi-fiction
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:03 AM,
Today in History: The Inauguration
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I owe it to him. For giving me hope, for inspiring me, for re-igniting my passion for living.
For having a keen mind even from a young age. For embracing cultures wherever his mom brought him to – Hawaii, Indonesia, Chicago. For never letting racial prejudices get in his way. For breaking traditions, social norms and conventional beliefs.
For daring to hope where there is no hope. For standing up for what is right and proving to the nay-sayers that yes, a black man can be the most historical President of the great United States of America.
For having a keen mind even from a young age. For embracing cultures wherever his mom brought him to – Hawaii, Indonesia, Chicago. For never letting racial prejudices get in his way. For breaking traditions, social norms and conventional beliefs.
For daring to hope where there is no hope. For standing up for what is right and proving to the nay-sayers that yes, a black man can be the most historical President of the great United States of America.
Even though his calibre as president still proves to be seen, even before he officially enters into office, he has brought hope to the flickering darkness of a nation of people at the brink of despair; he is revered as the most enigmatic leaders of our time, and he has inspired a whole new generation of people; young and old, white, colored, multi racial, of all citizens; to believe, that as long as we stand together in the face of adversity, we can bring change to our world. And change has come to America. Change has come to cities all over. Change has come to my part of the world – my place here in Singapore.
I owe it to you, Mr Barack Obama. I owe it to you, Mr. President.
200109
P/S: Today is a day in history, and I never want to live in another generation. It is my honour, my privilege, to be living in this generation and witness first-hand, one of the finest moments in history since the birth of Jesus Christ – the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America.
I owe it to you, Mr Barack Obama. I owe it to you, Mr. President.
200109
P/S: Today is a day in history, and I never want to live in another generation. It is my honour, my privilege, to be living in this generation and witness first-hand, one of the finest moments in history since the birth of Jesus Christ – the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States of America.
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:18 PM,
The rule of law
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Disturbing but true. The act of shaming an errant individual to serve as a reminder to the larger body of members. The iron rod of religion that encroaches on human decency and esteem - as the world progresses, so should institutions that uphold the society. Of course, basic fundamentals of an institution established from its foundation ought not be questioned and made issues of controversy, but the method of dealing with errant members - that should be addressed with wise judgment and deliberation of the circumstances surrounding the erroneous act.Often times the very body or authority that passes such strict judgment and punishment are not angels themselves and are as frail a being in need of grace and redemption as the common folks. A balance of judgment ought to be struck - a balance that poses the question: Am I passing this judgment based on the standards of a reasonable person living in this current age and time or am I simply upholding a traditional form of judgment which even I myself may question its validity had I been the defendant.
Of course, it is easy for someone down the chain of command to question the judgment and action of a governing authority who has a wide and often privileged spectrum of issues and policies to consider before arriving at certain conclusions. The benefit of the doubt given, and I say this in respect, that it is prudent that governing authorities check the rule of law from time to time to critically study if they are serving the people they are meant to serve or have they turned tyrannical and irrelevant.
Straits Times - Jan 14, 2009
Malaysian waitress ordered to be caned for drinking
KUALA LUMPUR: A religious court has sentenced a Muslim woman to six strokes of the cane for drinking alcohol, possibly for the first time in Malaysia.
The Syariah High Court in Pahang also handed the same sentence to a man on Monday, and is due to make a decision on another woman in May.
Mohamad Nasir Mohamad, 38, a father of four, and waitress Noorazah Baharuddin, 22, were found drinking beer separately in pubs in July last year in central Pahang state, said reports released yesterday.
Nasir admitted that he had drunk beer at a pub in Cherating on July 11, while Noorazah was caught drinking at the pub where she worked, in Jalan Gambut.
Both were also fined RM5,000 (S$2,100) each by the Pahang court on Monday.
The third accused was part-time model Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, 32. According to the New Straits Times, Kartika, a Singapore permanent resident, could not attend court as she is studying in Singapore.
Judge Abdul Rahman Yunus said that he had given the maximum fine and caning as a deterrent to other Muslims, but had spared them a jail sentence.
'The caning is to shame them and should be done at any of the prisons in the country,' he was quoted as saying by NST.
The case comes after two controversial fatwas, or edicts - one over tomboyish behaviour by women and the other concerning the practice of yoga - sparked intense public debate over decisions made by the country's top religious body.
Malaysia has a two-track legal system, with the civil courts operating alongside state-based syariah courts. Muslims are governed by syariah laws in family and personal matters, while ethnic Chinese, Indians and other races come under civil courts.
According to NST, this is the second time such a sentence has been handed down. In 2005, the same judge sentenced two Muslim brothers to six strokes of the cane after they were caught drinking.
However, the caning has yet to be carried out as the men are appealing against the decision.
Alcohol is widely available in Malaysia, and Muslims are rarely punished for consuming it.
'It's rare but it's within the law and Muslims are subject to such law in this country,' said lawyer Pawancheek Merican, a syariah law committee member of the Malaysian Bar Council.
MP Salahuddin Ayub, the youth chief of the opposition Islamic party PAS, said he 'agreed' with the court ruling.
'The ruling only concerns Muslims and it does not affect the non-Muslims. It is to remind the Muslims not to drink,' he said.
Labels: Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:10 AM,
Sheena
She is close to my heart and I love her so very much. I am always thinkin of her and what fun growin up is for her - she is so full of life, joy, enthusiasm and passion she can't be locked in by limitation or restriction. She is wholesome, creative and overflowing with life.
She is compassionate and sensitive to her loved ones - especially her mommy who sacrificially gives up all that matters to her so her little girl could grow in an environment of love, acceptance, encouragement and security (in that order).
Sheena is a representation of all that a child is to have - much love and room to grow, regardless of the environment which sometimes threatens the protection in which she currently enjoys.
She is compassionate and sensitive to her loved ones - especially her mommy who sacrificially gives up all that matters to her so her little girl could grow in an environment of love, acceptance, encouragement and security (in that order).
Sheena is a representation of all that a child is to have - much love and room to grow, regardless of the environment which sometimes threatens the protection in which she currently enjoys.
Labels: Family
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:40 AM,
The beauty of family
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
You see people smiling and laughing when they are with other people - friends, family, etc. You don't see them laughing as much when they are by themselves (fact is, you'd start speculating their sanity if they do). Reason being there is chemistry when people get together. And that is why I love families, particularly my husband's. The sense of belonging, acceptance and oneness. A warm shelter from a cold solitary world.
They give me a reason to look forward to coming home from a long day at work, an arduous day in class, a weekend gathering with friends, an overseas vacation. I have every reason to find my feet excitedly bringing me home each day because I find a place to belong to no matter the season that lifts or drowns me.
They give me a reason to look forward to coming home from a long day at work, an arduous day in class, a weekend gathering with friends, an overseas vacation. I have every reason to find my feet excitedly bringing me home each day because I find a place to belong to no matter the season that lifts or drowns me.
Labels: Family
posted by Angeline Tan @ 5:36 PM,
Swim to me
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Swimming is especially important to me because without it I am trapped in lethargy and dwarfed by limitations.I have been ill now for 6 days and showing little signs of recovery. And I have been prohibited by concerned family members not to swim or perform any sort of vigorous exercise. Day by day my body aches, my head spins, my flu flows and my mind now anxious - why am I not recovering?
I resolve to swim first thing tomorrow morning - I may be in the pinkest of health, for all I know.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:17 PM,
Reminiscence
Thursday, January 01, 2009
the sky a blanket of darknessthe air a morning chill so comforting
I step out into the coolness of dawn
noticing the puddles of water on the ground
collected from last night's rainfall
I take in the smell of fresh dew
resting on green leaves, flowers and grass blades
the showers behind, what awaits is a bright day
of hope and renewed dreams
the fast food joint is brightly lit
the music is turned up slightly louder than
what's comfortable for a quaint morning breakfast
where we're all strangers at separate tables and corners
avoiding eye contact as much as possible
comfortable with distance; uncomfortable with connections
in this city of dreams - the lion city
the familiar American songs playing on the speakers
bring jolts and tinges of acute nostalgia
bringing me home to days of youthfulness and recklessness
days of experiential living and innocence lost
I sit here by myself, though am surrounded by strangers -
I sit here, I reminisce and I write
in memory of who I was and
what I'd become
11/04/08
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:11 PM,
Voices - Choose Right
Sometimes I would turn off the lights and huddle in the corner of the room so I could be alone with my thoughts. Aside by ourselves, my thoughts seem to adopt a persona where they would flow freely and speak about stuff I would normally miss in the busyness of everyday life. I need these quiet moments because I am a highly visual person and I am most 'attacked' in my mind - be it in my conscious state when I am looking at things or thinking of stuff, or in my subconscious when I am dreaming. Thus these quiet moments serve as a platform for me to 'take in' only the good ones and discard the bad ones.
Yet despite these quiet sessions, many a times I fear I would lose all the good things I have, especially the greatest love of my life. And I would remember the story of Job in the Bible - that the thing he feared most came to him as he feared. And I would try to shut the negative images in my mind out. But rather than shutting them out, I think all I managed to do was to push them to the sidewalk of my mind, and ever so often, they would step right back onto the high road of my mind and come taunting me all over again. In fact, every morning.
You see, I jog every weekday morning before I go to work. And I would listen to Christian podcast sermons by Dr A.R. Bernard, Phil Pringle and Joel Osteen. Their messages do wonderful things to my heart, mind and spirit. But you see, the devil is a destroyer and a counterfeiter. As I take in the good stuff from the podcast sermons, especially first thing in the morning when your mind is fresh and free of evil contaminations, the devil attempts real hard to plant his evil and negative seeds in my mind. You see, I recognise this, but try as I might, I do not have have apparent victory over his ploy.
I write this down now so I may warn myself not just thoughtfully, but in writing (something more tangible than just thoughts, and could serve as a reminder many days and months after) that the victory is my Lord's. I write so I may put my thinking into perspective and 'force' myself to take the narrow path of the righteous and avoid the broad path of self. I write this down also so this may serve as a warning to you should you be in the same shoes as I am. 'We read to know we are not alone', says the great C.S. Lewis. You may read this entry to know you are not alone - that really, we are, in more ways than one, in the same shoes as many others in many situations.
Yet despite these quiet sessions, many a times I fear I would lose all the good things I have, especially the greatest love of my life. And I would remember the story of Job in the Bible - that the thing he feared most came to him as he feared. And I would try to shut the negative images in my mind out. But rather than shutting them out, I think all I managed to do was to push them to the sidewalk of my mind, and ever so often, they would step right back onto the high road of my mind and come taunting me all over again. In fact, every morning.
You see, I jog every weekday morning before I go to work. And I would listen to Christian podcast sermons by Dr A.R. Bernard, Phil Pringle and Joel Osteen. Their messages do wonderful things to my heart, mind and spirit. But you see, the devil is a destroyer and a counterfeiter. As I take in the good stuff from the podcast sermons, especially first thing in the morning when your mind is fresh and free of evil contaminations, the devil attempts real hard to plant his evil and negative seeds in my mind. You see, I recognise this, but try as I might, I do not have have apparent victory over his ploy.
I write this down now so I may warn myself not just thoughtfully, but in writing (something more tangible than just thoughts, and could serve as a reminder many days and months after) that the victory is my Lord's. I write so I may put my thinking into perspective and 'force' myself to take the narrow path of the righteous and avoid the broad path of self. I write this down also so this may serve as a warning to you should you be in the same shoes as I am. 'We read to know we are not alone', says the great C.S. Lewis. You may read this entry to know you are not alone - that really, we are, in more ways than one, in the same shoes as many others in many situations.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 2:26 PM,
To write or not to write
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
'Oh have you heard, the famous Hong Kong comedy king Stephen Chow, he used to sell vegetables in a market!' my mom-in-law chirped, her sudden revelation jolted me out of the disheartening monologue I was incessantly having with my down-trodden dream.
Unbeknownst to them, I catch more than I listen. I catch messages behind words spoken, looks exchanged, behaviours displayed, and habits repeated.
I turned to my husband and gave him a weak smile. 'I guess the fastest way to recognition, fame and riches is through the entertainment industry - because you get thrown in the public's eye through frequent and broad media coverage.'
I pondered if I should make a quick inroad into fame through other means or simply stay true to my inner desire: write.
I am at the crossroad of a very significant and eventful year coming to an end of its term and a brand new year of relatively bleak economic prospects. The present year has been significant because the journey to my undergraduate studies undertaken two years ago is coming to completion and I have been faring well; I toiled through a year of routine, manual and uninspiring work, no matter how I tried to vary my daily tasks and force-dosing myself with spurts of joy and gratitude; I desperately needed to shed some pounds and successfully turned myself into a fitnes junkie, jogging 5 times a week and swimming 4 times week, shedding 8 kilos in 6 months, and boosted my frailing self esteem; I developed closer friendships with wonderful people in church who have now become my constant suppy of love, joy, support and deep-bellied laughters, Jason's love so overwhelms me I could count with my 5 fingers the few occasions I cried painfully; and finally, a recent participation in a talentime competition got me and my 2 lovely girlfriends a measure of fame and recognition, such that we are now deciding if we should pursue our acoustic singing career seriously and professionally.
Remembering the many rags-to-riches and lousy-to-celebrity stories I hear and read so much about, I resolute to take a different path next year. Except that next year is only a month away. Which means my time is running short. I do not want to squirm around in mud and wallow in darkness no more.
Writing has always served as an objective outlet for me. Bottled up frustrations translate themselves into words that upon second and more reading, could potentially be useful as antidotes and encouragement to others in the form of autobiography upon publication.
Writing releases me to feel and express myself fully and easily, with no fear nor apprehension, because I let myself loose. Like an unbridled horse cut loose to run freely in the open plains, so is my being liberated on paper.
Yet many a times I find myself not knowing how to begin or where to begin writing.
Unbeknownst to them, I catch more than I listen. I catch messages behind words spoken, looks exchanged, behaviours displayed, and habits repeated.
I turned to my husband and gave him a weak smile. 'I guess the fastest way to recognition, fame and riches is through the entertainment industry - because you get thrown in the public's eye through frequent and broad media coverage.'
I pondered if I should make a quick inroad into fame through other means or simply stay true to my inner desire: write.
I am at the crossroad of a very significant and eventful year coming to an end of its term and a brand new year of relatively bleak economic prospects. The present year has been significant because the journey to my undergraduate studies undertaken two years ago is coming to completion and I have been faring well; I toiled through a year of routine, manual and uninspiring work, no matter how I tried to vary my daily tasks and force-dosing myself with spurts of joy and gratitude; I desperately needed to shed some pounds and successfully turned myself into a fitnes junkie, jogging 5 times a week and swimming 4 times week, shedding 8 kilos in 6 months, and boosted my frailing self esteem; I developed closer friendships with wonderful people in church who have now become my constant suppy of love, joy, support and deep-bellied laughters, Jason's love so overwhelms me I could count with my 5 fingers the few occasions I cried painfully; and finally, a recent participation in a talentime competition got me and my 2 lovely girlfriends a measure of fame and recognition, such that we are now deciding if we should pursue our acoustic singing career seriously and professionally.
Remembering the many rags-to-riches and lousy-to-celebrity stories I hear and read so much about, I resolute to take a different path next year. Except that next year is only a month away. Which means my time is running short. I do not want to squirm around in mud and wallow in darkness no more.
Writing has always served as an objective outlet for me. Bottled up frustrations translate themselves into words that upon second and more reading, could potentially be useful as antidotes and encouragement to others in the form of autobiography upon publication.
Writing releases me to feel and express myself fully and easily, with no fear nor apprehension, because I let myself loose. Like an unbridled horse cut loose to run freely in the open plains, so is my being liberated on paper.
Yet many a times I find myself not knowing how to begin or where to begin writing.
Thus Joyce Carol Oates liberated my frustration, when I read this in her book, "The Faith of a Writer" (pp. 52):
"The writer, however battered a veteran, can't have any real faith, any absolute faith, in his stamina to get him through the ordeal of creating, to the plateau of creation. One is frequently asked whether the process becomes easier, with the passage of time, and the reply is obvious: Nothing gets easier with the passage of time, not even the passing of time.
"The writer, however battered a veteran, can't have any real faith, any absolute faith, in his stamina to get him through the ordeal of creating, to the plateau of creation. One is frequently asked whether the process becomes easier, with the passage of time, and the reply is obvious: Nothing gets easier with the passage of time, not even the passing of time.
The artist, perhaps more than most people, inhabits failure, degrees of failure and accommodation and compromise."
I am but human, and I am, as always, searching, for the right words.
I am but human, and I am, as always, searching, for the right words.
Labels: Personal reflection, Writing
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:34 PM,
Morning hawker fare
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I like being here in the morning. To sit in the midst of a quaint hawker centre, bustling with the breakfast crowd. Though the air smelled bad; an uneasy mix of stale foul air from yesterday’s poultry meat and today's breakfast like bread, rice, bak kut tea, wanton noodles, fried fritters and oh, coffee and tea; it is made pleasant by the hustle of human activity that greets a mundane work morning.
The hawker centre however is kept cool (temperature) by the many fans lined up along the age-stained, yellow walls – every piece of furniture you see in this place speaks of an era preserved by our fathers of times past for the current generation of comfort-seeking individuals.
Yet it is this harmonious blend of old and new, past and present, that instinctively evokes a certain gratitude this beautiful Thursday morning, bringing to remembrance the importance of taking in every day as a gift in itself and desiring peace among brothers, families and strangers.
The hawker centre however is kept cool (temperature) by the many fans lined up along the age-stained, yellow walls – every piece of furniture you see in this place speaks of an era preserved by our fathers of times past for the current generation of comfort-seeking individuals.
Yet it is this harmonious blend of old and new, past and present, that instinctively evokes a certain gratitude this beautiful Thursday morning, bringing to remembrance the importance of taking in every day as a gift in itself and desiring peace among brothers, families and strangers.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:51 AM,
In loving memory - Adeline
Friday, December 12, 2008
Adeline9 Sep 1970 - 9 Dec 2008
The beauty of life lies not just in the living, but the cause fought for while living. I believe Adeline fought hard to live well, well above her circumstances. May she be a testimony to those who know her, of our need to live life on the line of gratitude every single day and moment.
Labels: Personal reflection, Photos
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:31 AM,
A survivor's account of the Mumbai terrorist attack
Friday, December 05, 2008
Courage in the face of extreme danger - see especially the last paragraph...Straits Times – Dec 5, 2008
'I hid in toilet stall for 7 hours'
American Michael Pollack was having dinner in the Taj Mahal Hotel with his wife when attackers struck. He gives one of the first comprehensive accounts to emerge of the terrifying hours that followed. This is an excerpt from his story published by Forbes.
MUMBAI: My wife Anjali and I were married in the Taj's Crystal Ballroom. Her parents were married there, too, and so were Shiv and Reshma, the couple with whom we had dinner plans.
The four of us arrived at the Taj around 9.30pm for dinner at the Golden Dragon. We were a little early, and our table wasn't ready. So we walked next door to the Harbour Bar and had barely begun to enjoy our beers when the host told us our table was ready. We decided to stay and finish our drinks.
Thirty seconds later, we heard what sounded like a heavy tray smashing to the ground. This was followed by 20 or 30 similar sounds and then, absolute silence. We crouched behind a table just feet away from who we now knew were gunmen. Terrorists had stormed the lobby and were firing indiscriminately.
We tried to break the glass window in front of us with a chair, but it wouldn't budge. The Harbour Bar's hostess, who had remained at her post, motioned to us that it was safe to make a run for the stairwell. We believed this courageous woman was murdered after we ran away.
We took refuge in the small office of the kitchen of another restaurant, Wasabi, on the second floor. Its chef and staff served the four of us food and drink and even apologised for the inconvenience we were suffering.
Through text messaging, e-mail on BlackBerrys and a small TV in the office, we realised the full extent of the terrorist attack on Mumbai. We figured we were in a secure place for the moment. There was also no way out.
At around 11.30pm, the kitchen went silent. We took a massive wooden table and pushed it up against the door, turned off all the lights and hid. All of the kitchen workers remained outside; not one staff member had run.
The terrorists repeatedly slammed against our door. We heard them ask the chef in Hindi if anyone was inside the office. He responded calmly: 'No one is in there. It's empty.'
That was the second time the Taj staff saved our lives.
After about 20 minutes, other staff members escorted us down a corridor to an area called The Chambers, a members-only area of the hotel. There were about 250 people in six rooms.
Inside, the staff was serving sandwiches and alcohol. We were told The Chambers was the safest place because the army was now guarding its two entrances and the streets were still dangerous.
But then, an MP phoned into a live newscast and let the world know that hundreds of people were 'secure and safe in The Chambers together'.
At around 2am, the staff attempted an evacuation. We all lined up to head down a dark fire escape exit. But after five minutes, grenade blasts and automatic weapon fire pierced the air. A mad stampede ensued to get out of the stairwell and take cover back inside The Chambers.
After that near-miss, my wife and I decided we should hide in different rooms. While we hoped to be together at the end, our primary obligation was to our children. We wanted to keep one parent alive.
Because I am American and my wife is Indian, and news reports said the terrorists were targeting Americans and Britons, I believed I would further endanger her life if we were together in a hostage situation. So when we ran back to The Chambers, I hid in a toilet stall with a floor-to-ceiling door and my wife stayed with our friends, who fled to a large room across the hall.
For the next seven hours, I lay in the fetal position, keeping in touch with Anjali via BlackBerry. I was joined in the stall by Joe, a Nigerian with a US green card. I managed to get in touch with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and several agents gave me status updates throughout the night.
After our failed evacuation, most of the people in the fire escape stairwell and many staff members who attempted to protect the guests were shot and killed.
The 10 minutes around 2.30am were the most frightening. Rather than the back-and-forth of gunfire, we just heard single, punctuated shots.
We later learnt that the terrorists went along a different corridor of The Chambers, room by room, and systematically executed everyone: women, elderly, Muslims, Hindus, foreigners. It was terrorism in its purest form. No one was spared.
The next five hours were filled with the sounds of an intense grenade/gun battle between the Indian commandos and the terrorists. By the time dawn broke, the commandos had successfully secured our corridor.
A young commando led out the people packed into Anjali's room. When one woman asked whether it was safe to leave, the commando replied: 'Don't worry, you have nothing to fear. The first bullets have to go through me.'
Anjali and I embraced for the first time in seven hours at the Taj's ground-floor entrance. I didn't know whether she was dead or injured because we hadn't been able to text for the past three hours.
Some may say our survival was due to random luck, others may credit divine intervention. But I can assure you only one thing: Far fewer people would have survived if it weren't for the extreme selflessness shown by the Taj staff, who organised us, catered to us and then, in the end, literally died for us.
Labels: Journalism, Social
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:58 PM,
Inching Forward
Monday, November 10, 2008
Today I inch toward the dream that beckons. He calls in a still, small voice. Much like the voice of God as described in the Bible. He does not call out loud or screams for you from a distance. Instead, he waves a gentle wave and smiles a sweet smile, as he beckons you to notice him from a distance. If you catch notice of him, which he silently prays you do, he opens his arms wide to accept you into his bosom, and embraces you like a father his child whom he loves so much.
Today there is room for sensitive response to the silent voice of the dream.
He will not sit in a corner of the park and folds his hands in disappointment, nor will he scowl and frown in dejection. He is ever hopeful you will remember, notice and approach him. Though your steps may be small, like a little child’s, he is happy even if all you do is take a tiny step and deliberate a long while before attempting a second move. He is ever patient and gracious. He is your dream.
Occasionally he jumps up and edges you on, when he feels your time is near and you ought to incline towards him. Yet he does not coerce; he steers. If you only listen. If you only obey. He will be yours.
Today there is room for sensitive response to the silent voice of the dream.
He will not sit in a corner of the park and folds his hands in disappointment, nor will he scowl and frown in dejection. He is ever hopeful you will remember, notice and approach him. Though your steps may be small, like a little child’s, he is happy even if all you do is take a tiny step and deliberate a long while before attempting a second move. He is ever patient and gracious. He is your dream.
Occasionally he jumps up and edges you on, when he feels your time is near and you ought to incline towards him. Yet he does not coerce; he steers. If you only listen. If you only obey. He will be yours.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:27 AM,
This Day in History
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Nov 4, 2008 – this day etches a deep print in history as the day the American people unite in one heart and voice to elect its first African-American President – the man of the hour – Barack Obama.Obama’s election is historic because here is courage and persistency, which worked hard, endured hardship, shame, ridicule and injustice, over 45 years, to bring the words of Dr Martin Luther King in 1963 to pass:
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
Obama’s victory has not been a stand-alone victory. He wins, riding on the dreams, pain, blood, and wings of predecessors like Martin Luther King, Jesse Jackson, and other heroes who fought for justice during the dark days of the United States.
He wins, riding on the faith, love and support of a people who dare to trust their hearts, speak with one voice and act in one spirit to place their nation into the hands of a Kenyan-American descent, to bring about change, not just to America, but to the whole world.
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:36 PM,
The 44th President of the United States – Barack Obama
Source: http://uk.reuters.com/article/wtMostRead/idUKTRE4A30Y220081105
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democrat Barack Obama captured the White House on Tuesday after an extraordinary two-year campaign, defeating Republican John McCain to make history as the first black to be elected U.S. president.
Obama will be sworn in as the 44th U.S. president on January 20, 2009, television networks said. He will face a crush of immediate challenges, from tackling an economic crisis to ending the war in Iraq and striking a compromise on overhauling the health care system.
McCain saw his hopes for victory evaporate with losses in a string of key battleground states led by Ohio, the state that narrowly clinched President George W. Bush's re-election in 2004, and Virginia, a state that had not backed a Democrat since 1964.
Obama led a Democratic electoral landslide that also expanded the party's majorities in both chambers of Congress and firmly repudiated eight years of Republican President George W. Bush's leadership.
The win by Obama, son of a black father from Kenya and white mother from Kansas, marked a milestone in U.S. history. It came 45 years after the height of the civil rights movement led by Martin Luther King.
In a campaign dominated at the end by a flood of bad news on the economy, Obama's leadership and proposals on how to handle the crisis tipped the race in his favour. Exit polls showed six of every 10 voters listed the economy as the top issue.
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:35 PM,
The warfare
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
In the dead after nightComes a strange after thought
Creepy, crawly, a sneaky fellow
Bright and bold, not the least mellow
He comes to hurt, bruise and injure
To slash, rob and kill
He is the devil in disguise
He is the devil incarnate
He is born with evil in his heart
I, on the other hand, am calm and mellow
I know his tricks and am deceived not
I lord over him with my head
Right on my shoulders, in tact
My heart, a soft pounding –
Not the least thumping or vigorous
I am a calm wave of control
And by this I triumph him over
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:22 PM,
Superhuman Incentive
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Click this link to read a recent New York Times coverage on Michael Phelps' activities post-Beijing.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/10/sports/olympics/10phelps.html
Michael Phelps - quipped as a "superhuman" for his feat in sweeping 8 gold medals in the recent Beijing Olympics Games, setting 7 new world records and 1 Olympics record. This article centres on his hectic travelling and media appearance schedule after his mega swim-(star)dom at the Games. But what caught my eye wasn't the media attention he's getting - but the US$ 1.6 million advance he got to write a book.
See? Stories tell. Books sell. And for the celeb author - it all goes well. Especially when one thinks about what Phelps could do with US$1.6 million in advance, plus the balance payment (more millions) and subsequent royalties (much much more millions) from the sale of the book - all of which amounts to countless millions - or if you like - super millions.
And my guess for the title of Phelps' book? "From Pool to Cool". I'm looking forward to his book for sure. ;)
Labels: Public figure
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:51 PM,
To each we belong
Friday, September 05, 2008
There should be inter-connectionsThere should not be dis-connections
There should be compassion, warmth and joy
There should be smiles to replace scowls
There should be an asking after; not nonchalance
There should be inclusions; not exclusions
We should all belong - each to another, regardless of differences
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:47 PM,
To each his own
There are groups formed and gathered all over the room. There is the occasional lone individual seemingly busy, not because he really is; he is pretending to be, so as to disguise his loneness and lack of companionship.
The one who seems to be in the centre of attraction, having more than a couple of people surrounding her at class intervals – she is one who talks loudly, colloquially, and seemingly without a care in the world – the one who is not hard pressed, but easy natured, friendly and not easily offended. She is usually not one who speaks polished English, who behaves civilly, and is well-mannered. More often than not, she is brash, imperfect, and not very attractive – yet holds a certain measure of charm that attracts.
He, on the other hand, is one who similarly, is loud and not quite attractive, but equally possesses a witty charm, earning him much companionship – his personality though shining in the group, gets drowned in the crowd of many like him.
She sits at the back of the class and observes the buzz of college activities around her – the room though crowded with companionships, lacks tangible warmth. Sitting quietly by herself with her hands to the keyboard, typing furiously to produce this note, she concludes that the only warmth and sincerity; reliability and consistency she has experienced, can expect to experience, and knows will always be there – is that found in church.
The one who seems to be in the centre of attraction, having more than a couple of people surrounding her at class intervals – she is one who talks loudly, colloquially, and seemingly without a care in the world – the one who is not hard pressed, but easy natured, friendly and not easily offended. She is usually not one who speaks polished English, who behaves civilly, and is well-mannered. More often than not, she is brash, imperfect, and not very attractive – yet holds a certain measure of charm that attracts.
He, on the other hand, is one who similarly, is loud and not quite attractive, but equally possesses a witty charm, earning him much companionship – his personality though shining in the group, gets drowned in the crowd of many like him.
She sits at the back of the class and observes the buzz of college activities around her – the room though crowded with companionships, lacks tangible warmth. Sitting quietly by herself with her hands to the keyboard, typing furiously to produce this note, she concludes that the only warmth and sincerity; reliability and consistency she has experienced, can expect to experience, and knows will always be there – is that found in church.
Labels: Semi-fiction
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:46 PM,
From China with love
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
I spoke to her because she’s a foreigner in this land. She cleans, wipes, mops, flushes and empties without a gripe. Silently, with a forlorn look, she goes about her duties.
I spoke to her because I thought she could do with a little warm conversation. What time do you start work? ‘7.00am.’ And what time do you end? ‘8.30pm.’ Golly, that’s long! ‘Yes.’
Which province in China do you come from? ‘Huqing,’ she replied. And where is that near, in China? ‘Near Xiamen.’ Oh Xiamen, that I know. It’s in the south, isn’t it? ‘Oh, that I’m not sure. I don’t know many places.’
How many children have you got? ‘Two – one aged twelve and another aged seven.’ How often do you go back to China to visit them? ‘I’m not sure’ and fiddles with her pocket, taking out her purse and fishing out a work permit card.
‘It says here two years, yes?’ Yes, that’s right, two years. So your contract is for two years. ‘Yes, and if my employer is pleased with my work at the end of two years, he might consider extending my employment.’
You’ll visit your children in five months’ time, during Chinese New Year, won’t you? ‘Really, I may not. I work very hard here, and if I were to go back for a visit, I will have to spend a sum of hard-earned money. So I may not go back.’ But you’ll miss your children, wouldn’t you? ‘Yes, very much. During the initial months here, I would cry at the thought of them…’ She fishes out two photographs of adorable red-flushed and dimpled faces of a boy and a girl. Oh, they are adorable. ‘Yes, this photograph here, this was taken when he was four months old. That’s his sister carrying him. And this other photograph here, this was taken when he was three years old.’
Her eyes were red as she held back tears. ‘It’s not so bad now. I talk to them once a week.’ Is it expensive to call home to China? ‘Oh it’s alright – it is pretty cheap actually. My international call card affords me some 300 over minutes of talk time.’
Oh that’s good, that’s good. Not wanting to hold up her work, I excused myself, and said I’ll talk to her again. As I turned to walk out of the washroom, she said, ‘Singaporeans are very nice and courteous people. I noticed that in my initial months of working here – people will talk to me and ask after me. Very nice of them.’
Immediately my recent conversation with a Singaporean friend of mine who took a year off to study Chinese in Hangzhou, China, flashed through my mind. She lamented how the Chinese in China lack civility.
And I understand what it means for this Chinese washroom cleaner – to have civility lavished on her, a foreigner, working to provide a little better for her family back in China. As I spoke with her, I reflected on the many blessings I have – not being separated but being near my family and loved ones, working in a land of abundant opportunities that I need not look offshore for work and better pay. This is a place of tremendous growth – and I am humbled by my immense blessings.
01/09/2008
I spoke to her because I thought she could do with a little warm conversation. What time do you start work? ‘7.00am.’ And what time do you end? ‘8.30pm.’ Golly, that’s long! ‘Yes.’
Which province in China do you come from? ‘Huqing,’ she replied. And where is that near, in China? ‘Near Xiamen.’ Oh Xiamen, that I know. It’s in the south, isn’t it? ‘Oh, that I’m not sure. I don’t know many places.’
How many children have you got? ‘Two – one aged twelve and another aged seven.’ How often do you go back to China to visit them? ‘I’m not sure’ and fiddles with her pocket, taking out her purse and fishing out a work permit card.
‘It says here two years, yes?’ Yes, that’s right, two years. So your contract is for two years. ‘Yes, and if my employer is pleased with my work at the end of two years, he might consider extending my employment.’
You’ll visit your children in five months’ time, during Chinese New Year, won’t you? ‘Really, I may not. I work very hard here, and if I were to go back for a visit, I will have to spend a sum of hard-earned money. So I may not go back.’ But you’ll miss your children, wouldn’t you? ‘Yes, very much. During the initial months here, I would cry at the thought of them…’ She fishes out two photographs of adorable red-flushed and dimpled faces of a boy and a girl. Oh, they are adorable. ‘Yes, this photograph here, this was taken when he was four months old. That’s his sister carrying him. And this other photograph here, this was taken when he was three years old.’
Her eyes were red as she held back tears. ‘It’s not so bad now. I talk to them once a week.’ Is it expensive to call home to China? ‘Oh it’s alright – it is pretty cheap actually. My international call card affords me some 300 over minutes of talk time.’
Oh that’s good, that’s good. Not wanting to hold up her work, I excused myself, and said I’ll talk to her again. As I turned to walk out of the washroom, she said, ‘Singaporeans are very nice and courteous people. I noticed that in my initial months of working here – people will talk to me and ask after me. Very nice of them.’
Immediately my recent conversation with a Singaporean friend of mine who took a year off to study Chinese in Hangzhou, China, flashed through my mind. She lamented how the Chinese in China lack civility.
And I understand what it means for this Chinese washroom cleaner – to have civility lavished on her, a foreigner, working to provide a little better for her family back in China. As I spoke with her, I reflected on the many blessings I have – not being separated but being near my family and loved ones, working in a land of abundant opportunities that I need not look offshore for work and better pay. This is a place of tremendous growth – and I am humbled by my immense blessings.
01/09/2008
Labels: Cultural
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:14 PM,
Two is better than one
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A paragraph from a NYT article that speaks so true of my relationship with my husband."But from the very start, the Obama marriage was a kind of professional symbiosis, a partnership between two passionately ambitious people who found they could rise higher in the world together than alone."
Separately, Michelle Obama gave a splendid speech in favour of her husband Barack Obama at the opening of the Democratic National Convention 2008 in Denver on Monday 25 August. Please click here to view a complete transcript of Michelle Obama's speech.Labels: Jason
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:28 PM,
Beijing Olympics - In a Nutshell
Monday, August 25, 2008
To sum up the grand Beijing Olympic Games 2008, here's a nutshell taken from a TIME article:To a large extent, China, an emergent superpower, got what it had craved from these long-sought games: a dominant effort by its athletes to top the gold-medal standings for the first time and almost glitch-free organizing that showcased world-class venues and cheerful volunteers to the largest-ever peaceful influx of foreign visitors.
A significant moment in the Games – where sports overshadow politics and brought the world together in unity:Led by Phelps and Bolt, athletes broke 43 world records and 132 Olympic records during the games. Yet (IOC President Jacques) Rogge, who visited every venue, said the most touching moment for him came after the 10-meter air pistol event, when gold medalist Nino Salukvadze of Georgia embraced runner-up Natalia Paderina of Russia even as their two countries' armies fought back in Georgia.
"That kind of sportsmanship is really remarkable," Rogge said.
Source: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1835682,00.html?xid=rss-topstories
Farewell, the Games. Hello, China superpower!
Labels: Event, Public figure
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:42 PM,
Critics
Critics are present everywhere and in all situations. When the Singapore table tennis team players Wang Yeugu, Feng Tianwei and Li Jiawei won Singapore a much anticipated silver medal since Tan Howe Liang's bronze medal in 1960, Singaporeans were torn between gratitude and patriotism. Their gripe? The paddlers aren't true-breed Singaporeans, but foreign talents. What makes it even more ironic is that they are Chinese, and they lost the gold to top Chinese players.
When Usain Bolt won the men's 100m and 200m sprint event, he celebrated as a true-blooded Jamaican would – he exclaimed in exhilaration to the cameras that he is Number 1, he danced around the tracks, wiggling and jiggling his tall, broad and muscular stature, and posed the victorious archer's pose of one hand pointing towards the sky and another placed at his chest. IOC President Jacque Rogge criticised Bolt's antics and suggested Bolt should have shook hands and congratulated the other competitors instead of basking in his own glory. A number of divided views have emerged following Bolt's victorious but controversial antics.
Michelle Obama was questioned on her patriotism following her infamous speech earlier this year: “For the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country.” It is unfortunate that a statement as harmless as that could give rise to contentious views on what could possible by America's first black First Lady. At that point, Michelle Obama's two Ivy League Universities education, her devotion to her husband, family and country were discounted.
When we consider the malicious and injuring spirit of criticism, may we be reminded to hold the reins of our mouth and ponder on the positive before we leash on the negative. If we are capable of building and edifying rather than tearing down and crushing, why not choose the former?
When Usain Bolt won the men's 100m and 200m sprint event, he celebrated as a true-blooded Jamaican would – he exclaimed in exhilaration to the cameras that he is Number 1, he danced around the tracks, wiggling and jiggling his tall, broad and muscular stature, and posed the victorious archer's pose of one hand pointing towards the sky and another placed at his chest. IOC President Jacque Rogge criticised Bolt's antics and suggested Bolt should have shook hands and congratulated the other competitors instead of basking in his own glory. A number of divided views have emerged following Bolt's victorious but controversial antics.
Michelle Obama was questioned on her patriotism following her infamous speech earlier this year: “For the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country.” It is unfortunate that a statement as harmless as that could give rise to contentious views on what could possible by America's first black First Lady. At that point, Michelle Obama's two Ivy League Universities education, her devotion to her husband, family and country were discounted.
When we consider the malicious and injuring spirit of criticism, may we be reminded to hold the reins of our mouth and ponder on the positive before we leash on the negative. If we are capable of building and edifying rather than tearing down and crushing, why not choose the former?
Labels: Personal reflection, Social
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:44 PM,
Beginning of Greatness
BOG: Beijing Olympic Games / Beginning of Greatness
It is hard to understand how something so remote as an international sports event could leave such a deep impact in the hearts of many around the world, particularly a Malaysian girl living and working in Singapore for the past 10 years.
From day 1 of the Games, she had her heart lost to the swimming event, barely missing a swimming event which ran for 10 consecutive days. For 10 days she could hardly concentr
ate on more pressing issues like work and school, with water and flying men and women filling her heart, mind and soul. When she closed her eyes she saw Michael Phelps, Kosuke Kitajima, Darra Tores and Libby Trickett. When she swims in the pool, she sees not her body limited by amateurism, but an expounded spirit able to contain international feats as her new-found water-agile heroes and heroines.When the swimming events gave way to other sporting events, she found a replacement in water-related sports like the diving events. She found humility and outstanding consistency in a young Chinese diver, He Chong. He was sent to sports school by his construction worker father, simply because it was cheaper than a normal academic school. At fourteen he started diving internationally, but was soon sidelined from the national team due to poor performance. He worked hard in proving himself and within a short time, made his way back into the national team. At 21 this year, he did China and his dad proud by diving his way to gold.
What has the Games done to her? It has made it impossible for her to return to a mediocre life – to go back to what she used to do before the Games. To go back to History Channel, National Geographic or Discovery Travel and Living. To go back to a life of non-tv until the Games hit her world these past 2 weeks.
She is left lost not without a reason. She is left lost that she may find her way to unprecedented passion. A passion for the unachievable, made possible by the human will of perseverance and the tenacity of discipline. Sounds like hard work? It sure is. The road up is never easy.
Labels: Event, Public figure
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:36 AM,
Hot News
I found a voice today. Here's what it says to me:
I love news because it's fresh – it's like fresh bread in the morning. Best still, fresh bread in the bakery – right where the hot action is. I'd like to work in the news room, right where the hot action of news production happens.
210808
I love news because it's fresh – it's like fresh bread in the morning. Best still, fresh bread in the bakery – right where the hot action is. I'd like to work in the news room, right where the hot action of news production happens.
210808
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:11 AM,
Beijing Olympics - U.S. 400m relay team
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
An incredible highlight last night in the swimming department. The U.S. 400-meter relay team set an Olympic record with a pool-shattering timing of 3:08:24.
Source:
http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-olyswim12-2008aug12,0,4620758.story
Garrett Weber-Gale, left, and Michael Phelps of the U.S. react as 400-meter relay teammate Jason Lezak of Irvine ran down then world-record holder Alain Bernard of France in the final few meters and out-touched him at the wall for the gold medal.
Garrett Weber-Gale, left, and Michael Phelps of the U.S. react as 400-meter relay teammate Jason Lezak of Irvine ran down then world-record holder Alain Bernard of France in the final few meters and out-touched him at the wall for the gold medal.
Michael Phelps celebrating with teammate Garrett Weber-Gale after Jason Lezak's stunning anchor-leg swim and letting loose a deep and forceful primal scream.
"My and Garrett's reaction, yeah, I let out a pretty fierce yell. It just shows how emotional it was and how excited we were. It was just an amazing race."
Labels: Event, Public figure
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:56 AM,
Shape up
Monday, August 11, 2008
See the last paragraph in bold & italics – my question is: Oh, and the corrupted and accusatory Malaysian government politics are ‘suitable’ to be watched and replayed to thousands of the young generation? Think about the legacy the country’s current leadership is leaving for its future leaders, the young generation today growing up in a politically tumultuous country divided by its own leaders. A leader appoints another, sings the latter’s praises to the sky, then leashes at the latter’s ability and integrity, and pulls him deep into the pit of alleged corruption and moral wrongdoings. We see this apparent foul-play repeated twice in this one decade alone. Will Malaysia see the brighter light of day where its citizens can truly embrace its Wawasan 2020 (Vision 2020) under the leadership of wise, committed and honest men and women?
Straits Times - Aug 10, 2008
PAS wants Avril Lavigne concert banned
Kuala Lumpur - Malaysian opposition Islamic party Parti Islam SeMalaysia (PAS) has demanded that the government ban pop superstar Avril Lavigne from performing in the country.
It said her concert would be an insult to the Merdeka freedom fighters.
Straits Times - Aug 10, 2008
PAS wants Avril Lavigne concert banned
Kuala Lumpur - Malaysian opposition Islamic party Parti Islam SeMalaysia (PAS) has demanded that the government ban pop superstar Avril Lavigne from performing in the country.
It said her concert would be an insult to the Merdeka freedom fighters.
Kuala Lumpur PAS Youth chief Kamaruzaman Mohamad said the government should instead hold patriotic and civilised concerts as well as organise history-writing contests and historical exhibitions in conjunction with the 51st anniversary of the country's independence, reported The Malaysian Insider.
The Canadian pop singer was scheduled to perform at the Stadium Merdeka on Aug 29, just two days ahead of Malaysia's Independence Day, as part of her world tour.
Mr Kamaruzaman led his exco members in handing over a protest note to Kuala Lumpur Mayor Abdul Hakim Borhan and a Culture, Arts and Heritage Ministry official here on Friday.
The protest note also demanded that the Central Committee for Filming and Performance by Foreign Artists (Puspal) not issue the permit for the concert.
Last month, the same PAS group had also protested against Indonesian dangdut sensation Inul Daratista performing in Kuala Lumpur, saying her concert would have been too erotic and almost pornographic, as well as capable of corrupting the minds of young Malaysians. Inul's concert was subsequently cancelled.
The group's objection to Lavigne's concert is that 'the rock and punk elements portrayed by this artiste are not suitable to be shown to the young generation', Mr Kamaruzaman was quoted as saying by PAS-owned Harakah Daily.
Labels: Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:25 AM,
The shape of love
Saturday, August 09, 2008
The shape of love comes in the form of a man. A man who loves, gives and believes. A man patient in hope. A man who sees good in people. A man not easily wavered by negative remarks or situations.
A man who gives me room to learn, grow and be better. A man who doesn't force me into becoming what I'm not, but who constantly, ever so graciously and gently, helps me become the woman I am meant to be.
A man who gives me a bundle of tools to reach my dreams - a MSI Wind Notebook (so I may write on the go; anytime, anywhere, anyhow), loads of encouragement and unwavering believe in my ability.
A man who gives me room to learn, grow and be better. A man who doesn't force me into becoming what I'm not, but who constantly, ever so graciously and gently, helps me become the woman I am meant to be.
A man who gives me a bundle of tools to reach my dreams - a MSI Wind Notebook (so I may write on the go; anytime, anywhere, anyhow), loads of encouragement and unwavering believe in my ability.
The shape of love comes in the form of my man – the love which God gave – my husband and amazing leader, teacher and friend, JO.
posted by Angeline Tan @ 5:12 PM,
A Piece of Kenya
Monday, August 04, 2008
He left home with the only currency of exchange he could afford: a bag of dreams. At 25, the vision of a better future throbbed his heart so he refused the “can’t do” attitude and seemingly kind advice of fellow Kenyans to deter him from embarking on this journey of a lifetime. A year down the road he thought himself naïve; silly even to do something so rash as to leave home without a dime to his name.
Now on hindsight he is glad his youthful courage served him well to run his course and do what no other Kenyans before him has done before – to step out in raw faith into uncertainty – to pursue a year of postgraduate studies in a foreign land, without the certainty of sufficient financial resources to pay his course fees and living expenses.
Now he’s gained knowledge, earned his Masters, made new friends, and returned home. A Kenyan friend come and gone.
A man of persistent dreams. A man of potential, no doubt, because in his soul lies a restless, fighting spirit that refuses to bow to the dark circumstances around him – instead he stands tall and proud, towering above obstacles, to reach for what he knows belongs to him.
Now on hindsight he is glad his youthful courage served him well to run his course and do what no other Kenyans before him has done before – to step out in raw faith into uncertainty – to pursue a year of postgraduate studies in a foreign land, without the certainty of sufficient financial resources to pay his course fees and living expenses.
Now he’s gained knowledge, earned his Masters, made new friends, and returned home. A Kenyan friend come and gone.
A man of persistent dreams. A man of potential, no doubt, because in his soul lies a restless, fighting spirit that refuses to bow to the dark circumstances around him – instead he stands tall and proud, towering above obstacles, to reach for what he knows belongs to him.
To Abraham - may you reach high, stretch your tents far and take possession of your dreams.
Labels: Cultural
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:37 PM,
A few things
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Re-listening to Barack Obama narrating his first book – ‘Dreams from my Father’ is an act of nostalgia for me. The past few months juggling between my lost of interest in my studies, as my term of studies draws to an end with half a year left to completion; a re-fuelled motivation in my work simply because I spend 9 hours at work and if I am not fruitful, where else do I plant my seed?; trying to be a little more active in serving other people’s needs; running and swimming 7 days a week, relenting not a single bit because I need my sports medication much as I need at least 5 hours of sleep daily; attempting to read and write daily but honestly I have been found wanting in this area because my nights shrink shorter with the persistence of my sports medication; and finally, the painful but needful work on my character development – this requires more than just mental power, it requires a considerable dose of stress, frustration, irritation, agony (evenly mixed) and did I mention high doses of hard work?
At the threshold of this second half of the year, I stand at the verge of the cliff of my world, with my back to the hanging cliff and the surging waters below – I look ahead to the open field, flat and stretched into the horizon far beyond my sight – and see in my mind’s eye – a train ride through an open country to the highland of my destiny. As breathtaking as the green hills and plains of the Irish Isles, so will the memories I am bound to collect along my journey.
I am excited beyond words and enthralled beyond description – at the thought of this amazing train ride. I hop aboard, and I am off. Till then my friend, adios!
Pic: my current reads
At the threshold of this second half of the year, I stand at the verge of the cliff of my world, with my back to the hanging cliff and the surging waters below – I look ahead to the open field, flat and stretched into the horizon far beyond my sight – and see in my mind’s eye – a train ride through an open country to the highland of my destiny. As breathtaking as the green hills and plains of the Irish Isles, so will the memories I am bound to collect along my journey.
I am excited beyond words and enthralled beyond description – at the thought of this amazing train ride. I hop aboard, and I am off. Till then my friend, adios!
Pic: my current reads
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:05 PM,
Found wanting
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
In time she grows increasingly tired. She looks often, over the thick wall and wonders what the other side has to offer her unfulfilled life. She has heard stories of merchants trading, actors performing; she has heard of men acquiring gold and silver, and women held in high esteem by men.Her heart flutters with each passing thought of greener pastures.
030907
Labels: Semi-fiction
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:47 AM,
Crisis
Monday, July 07, 2008
Crisis brings people together. In the wake of the rising cost of living, sub-prime crisis, incredulous oil/fuel hike, shortage of and rise in price of rice, borderless jihad and terrorist attacks, frequent suicide bombings in the Middle East, tsunami sweeping through the east and west parts of the world, the devastating earthquake in Sichuan, political unrests in countries all over the world, corruption among ruling parties, child trafficking and prostitution – the earth is brought closer together.
It is like the earth has shrunk, simply because citizens from across countries, borders and geographical distances know what is happening on the other side of the world through news and reports in the mass media. And with this shrinking of the earth, picture this: the arms of men and women across each others’ shoulders, huddling together, facing inwards, heads bowed low in prayers or silent observation – we, as brothers and sisters, are brought closer to one another.
We are bound in one spirit of hope – hope for ourselves, our children, our world. Hope that rests in love. And love that overcomes fear, discrimination, injustices, hatred and murder. Because love conquers all.
It is like the earth has shrunk, simply because citizens from across countries, borders and geographical distances know what is happening on the other side of the world through news and reports in the mass media. And with this shrinking of the earth, picture this: the arms of men and women across each others’ shoulders, huddling together, facing inwards, heads bowed low in prayers or silent observation – we, as brothers and sisters, are brought closer to one another.
We are bound in one spirit of hope – hope for ourselves, our children, our world. Hope that rests in love. And love that overcomes fear, discrimination, injustices, hatred and murder. Because love conquers all.
Labels: Personal reflection, Social
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:59 PM,
Maria Shriver
Monday, June 30, 2008
My inspiration for the day - to be 2 things: (1) a journalist, and (2) a good mother.
Here is an excerpt from an article I read in Time Magazine on Maria Shriver, the First Lady of California, aka Arnold Schwarzenegger's wife.
Source: Time
Q: Do you ever find yourself at odds with being from a prominent Democratic family and being married to a Republican?
A: It's definitely different to be married to someone from a different political party. It has really taught me to look beyond labels, which is something my dad [Sargent Shriver] was really adamant about. Get rid of all that and look at who the person is, and you're much better off.
Q: If you didn't get into broadcast journalism, what do you think you'd be doing today?
A: I have no clue. Maybe writing poetry. I was so relieved when I discovered journalism. When my dad was running for Vice President, [I would] sit in the back of the plane with the journalists, and it opened my eyes. I thought at the time that politics and how people view politicians will be made by the people in the back of the plane a lot more than the people in the front.
Q: Now that you've written a book about becoming who you are, how do you help your children become who they are?
A: I try to say to my children, I love you for who you are. You don't have to get into some fancy college. You don't have to go off and become President of the United States. If you want to go off and open a coffee shop or a bakery, I love you. And you, and you alone, are good enough.
Q: You credit a lot of your success to your relationship with your parents. Do you use the same techniques with your children?
A: I try. I said to my mother, I pray to God that I'm half as successful with my children as my parents have been. For any parent, to sit back and see your kids really enjoying each other, understanding each other, accepting who they are, is a huge joy.
Q: What do you want to be doing in 10 years?
A: At 16 I said, I want to be a journalist. I want to work on a newsmagazine. I want to do a documentary. I had it all planned out. Now I'm gentler with myself. I say, I'm a work in progress. I could be writing books in 10 years. I could be living on an island. I could be traveling around the world.
Labels: Public figure
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:54 PM,
Quotes for today
Thursday, June 26, 2008
"What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality."- Greek author, Plutarch
"If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better."
- JK Rowling
Labels: Quote
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:43 AM,
War Journalism
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Dealing with dangers of war reportingAs a new memorial is unveiled to journalists killed while carrying out their work, BBC Middle East editor Jeremy Bowen describes how war reporters deal with danger as a routine part of their job.
Source: BBC News (http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/uk_news/7456018.stm)
If you asked most journalists whether a story was worth their life, they would say absolutely not.
But then I have never met a journalist (and in that I include all varieties of news people) who goes out on a day's work in a dangerous place expecting to die.
I am always struck by what is left of a person's last few hours when I see bodies in mortuaries and back alleys and wrecked buildings and all the other places where people end up who have died violently.
Small, even trivial thoughts can find their way past the overwhelming and hideous fact that their lives are over.
What about their clothes? Did they think they were going to die when they put on their socks? And the knots in their shoelaces, tied by fingers that now are dead. What were they thinking when they were doing them up?
Perhaps the day was already going badly. Was fear already pulling at their minds and their guts? Or did they have no idea what was coming?
The answer is that when the day began most of them did not expect to die.
If, as a journalist in a dangerous place, you worry that you are getting dressed for the last time every morning before you go to work, then you are probably in the wrong business.
You need to know the risks, and to take precautions, but to be calm about them too, and even to deny them.
That cannot be done without believing that you will make it through the day, and that if you have some close calls you will be able to make jokes about them when you are having dinner.
You have to believe that you will stay alive because you are being careful, or because your experience will see you through, and it helps too if you are young and feel indestructible and the sun is shining and you just know it could not possibly happen to you.
When journalists no longer feel at least some of that, they tend to stop covering wars.
Listing the dead
The chances are that it will be OK. Most journalists who work in wars do not die, and do not get wounded. But some do, and these days more people target journalists, when in the past the main problem was being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
With so many risks out there, the unfortunate truth is that surviving in a war, even for the most experienced and best trained, requires a strong element of luck. And people's luck runs out.
Sometimes they do not have it at all. Journalists need to know that if they go to places where people are getting killed they could get killed too.
Every journalist who has made a habit of going to wars has a list of dead friends and colleagues, people who did the same stories in the same places until they went to work one day and were killed.
The other night a photographer who covered many of the wars of the 1990s told me that about 10 years ago he was one of six ushers at a wedding. All of them were in the news business. Now only two of his fellow ushers are still alive.
Permanent memorial
My list has more than a dozen names. I only include people who were friends or close colleagues. If I added the names of people who I knew only by sight the list would be longer.
I had to do obituaries for some of them, and everyone who works in news knows how the caravan moves on to the next story. It is good that there is going to be a permanent memorial to our dead friends in the middle of London.
My friend and colleague Abed Takkoush had been a driver and fixer for the BBC in Lebanon for 25 years when he was killed by a shell fired by an Israeli tank crew on 23 May 2000.
With Malek Kanaan, our cameraman, I got out of Abed's car a few minutes before the shell hit it. He stayed in there because he was on the phone to his son.
The area did not seem dangerous, but it was. Abed did not expect to die that day.
I could have been in the car with him, because I had been on the phone too. But my call ended as we parked, and his did not. That is the only reason why he is commemorated by the new sculpture, and I am not.
Labels: Journalism
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:32 PM,
Silence
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Human beings are not things – you don’t ignore it when you are upset and pick it up again when you are fine. Human beings have emotions, thoughts and reservations – that once bruised or broken, can only be bridged with communication. You don’t just stroke it – you have to take a step further to talk, communicate, apologise and make up. Words can either mend of break. But silence - it only damages potential make ups.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:35 AM,
Life on the Line - A Tribute
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
An Afghan journalist was shot dead over the weekend (7-8 June 2008). Below is a news story/tribute lifted off BBC News (http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/7443669.stm).
A tribute to Abdul Samad Rohani
Abdul Samad Rohani, the Pashto service reporter for the BBC in the Afghan province of Helmand, was shot dead at the weekend. His friend and colleague Bilal Sarwary pays this tribute.
"Fish is fresh when it is in the water," Rohani used to say.
It's an Afghan saying which means here that Rohani felt most alive when he was working in the field.
In the eight years that I have been with the BBC in Kabul, I have been constantly in touch with BBC reporters located in some of the most dangerous and remote areas of Afghanistan.
These brave reporters work tirelessly away from their families so that the world may come to understand the desperate situation faced by the people of Afghanistan.
Rohani began working for the BBC in 2006. As well as reporting in the Pashto language, he provided crucial support and information to the BBC's English language staff.
Helmand province is one of the centres of the Taleban insurgency. Because of the large number of British troops there it is a particularly important news area for the BBC's audiences in the UK.
Household name
Rohani knew Helmand better than anyone I have ever met.
He was born in Helmand and, as well as being a journalist, was a poet of some local renown.
Hardly a day passes without an incident in Helmand and sometimes he would be on the phone to me all day. I will always remember his bravery.
His compassion drove him to travel into the Taleban-controlled areas to report about the lives of people there.
Sometimes he stayed at my house in Kabul, entertaining me and my roommate with his romantic Pashto poems.
But our evenings were constantly interrupted by his phones as he took calls from tribal chiefs, government officials or a local trader complaining about corruption.
He had a way with words and became the voice of the people of Helmand.
There would also be entire days when his cell phones were off when he would be travelling in a wolaswali (the Pashto word for district) where there is no network coverage.
First to call
At present I'm spending a lot of the year studying in the US.
Rohani would phone me regularly there - always calling in the early hours of morning US time when I was asleep. Whenever I pointed it out to him, his response would be simple: "It's day in Afghanistan." And then he would chuckle.
I always liked talking to Rohani and over the years our working relationship altered into something deeper - a friendship.
Whenever I returned home to Kabul, he would be one of the first people to call.
"Welcome to our Afghanistan and I am sending my regards from this village in Helmand province," he would say.
On Saturday I grew alarmed when I did not hear from him.
I enquired after him and was devastated to learn that Rohani was missing and his phones were switched off.
I knew something was wrong, but I was hoping that Rohani was again on a trip to some remote village or district, reporting the story of his people whom he loved so dearly.
Then the bad news came in.
An unknown caller contacted another BBC colleague in Helmand, asking for Rohani's body to be picked up.
As soon I heard the news, I felt the weight of a thousand broken hearts and I felt as if the entire world had come crashing down.
My memories of Rohani will always remain with me.
As an Afghan I will always be proud of being his friend and colleague.
He dedicated his life and time towards telling the truth and helping Afghanistan.
I don't know who it was who killed Rohani, but I know one thing for sure - there will be more of us telling the truth and truth will always protect itself.
Labels: Journalism
posted by Angeline Tan @ 7:55 AM,
He could be the one
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I think the American mindset is shifting towards the Democrats - particularly towards Obama. They could be tired of the ruling Republicans who disappointed them time and again (Clinton, Bush).
And now along comes Obama - a fresh, new face - a voice that speaks differently yet one that could identify with the people regardless of color. I think in the course of the next few months till November when Americans votes, the people could be persuaded to give Obama the opportunity of a lifetime - to be the first black president - and change the course of not just American history, but world history, leaving a powerful legacy for years to come.
Yours truly,
AT
And now along comes Obama - a fresh, new face - a voice that speaks differently yet one that could identify with the people regardless of color. I think in the course of the next few months till November when Americans votes, the people could be persuaded to give Obama the opportunity of a lifetime - to be the first black president - and change the course of not just American history, but world history, leaving a powerful legacy for years to come.
Yours truly,
AT
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:25 PM,
The search is over
Straits Times - June 4, 2008
Obama wins historic Democratic nomination
Clinton signals she would take VP slot
WASHINGTON/MINNESOTA - MR Barack Obama captured the Democratic presidential nomination on Tuesday, capping a rapid rise from political obscurity to become the first black to lead a major United States party into a race for the White House.
Rival Hillary Clinton, a former first lady who entered the race 17 months ago as a heavy favourite, did not concede to Mr Obama and said she would consult with party leaders and supporters to determine her next move.
A surge of support from uncommitted delegates helped give Mr Obama the 2,118 votes he needed to clinch the nomination and defeat Mrs Clinton.
Mr Obama will be crowned the Democratic nominee at the convention in August and will face Republican John McCain in November's election to choose a successor to President George W. Bush.
'Tonight, we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another,' Mr Obama told a cheering victory celebration in St Paul, Minnesota, at the site of the Republican convention in September.
'Tonight, I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.'
'Tonight we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another - a journey that will bring a new and better day to America,' Mr Obama vowed as US media said he had clinched the party's nomination by securing the 2,118 delegates needed.
'America, this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past,' the Illinois senator pledged as he claimed the Democratic crown to run in the November general elections against Republican presumptive nominee John McCain.
'Our time to bring new energy and new ideas to the challenges we face. Our time to offer a new direction for the country we love.'
At the end of the gruelling 17-month primary campaign, the longest and most expensive ever, Mr Obama, 46, was effusive in his praise for his defeated rival, former first lady Hillary Clinton.
'Senator Hillary Clinton has made history in this campaign not just because she's a woman who has done what no woman has done before, but because she's a leader who inspires millions of Americans with her strength, her courage, and her commitment to the causes that brought us here tonight,' he said.
And despite their bitter differences as they tussled to secure the party's nomination, Mr Obama paid tribute to Mrs Clinton's 'unyielding desire to improve the lives of ordinary Americans, no matter how difficult the fight may be'.
But he rounded on Mr McCain, warning voters that the Arizona senator would represent four more years of the same policies of outgoing President George W. Bush.
'There are many words to describe John McCain's attempt to pass off his embrace of George Bush's policies as bipartisan and new. But change is not one of them,' he said.
'Change is a foreign policy that doesn't begin and end with a war that should've never been authorised and never been waged.'
Longest and closest fight
Mr Obama's win over Mrs Clinton, projected by US networks, came in one of the closest and longest nomination fights in recent US political history. Five months of voting concluded on Tuesday night with votes in Montana, won by Mr Obama, and South Dakota, won by Mrs Clinton.
Mrs Clinton, who would have been the first woman nominee in US political history, won more than 1,900 delegates over the course of the campaign.
She told New York members of Congress she would be open to becoming Mr Obama's vice-presidential running mate, and her backers began to turn up the pressure on Mr Obama to pick her as his No. 2.
Mrs Clinton congratulated Mr Obama after he clinched the nomination, and told a cheering crowd of supporters in New York City that she would work for party unity. But she did not concede.
'This has been a long campaign and I will make no decisions tonight,' she said. 'In the coming days I'll be consulting with supporters and party leaders to determine how to move forward with the best interests of our party and my country guiding my way.'
Mr McCain held a rally in Louisiana to kick off the race against Mr Obama. He sought to distance himself from Mr Bush and questioned Mr Obama's judgment and his willingness to put aside partisan interests.
'He is an impressive man, who makes a great first impression,' Mr McCain said of Mr Obama. 'But he hasn't been willing to make the tough calls, to challenge his party, to risk criticism from his supporters to bring real change to Washington. I have.'
Mr Obama questioned the extent of Mr McCain's independence and tied him to Mr Bush.
Not that independent
'While John McCain can legitimately tout moments of independence from his party in the past, such independence has not been the hallmark of his presidential campaign,' he said.
'There are many words to describe John McCain's attempt to pass off his embrace of George Bush's policies as bipartisan and new. But change is not one of them.'
Mr Obama, 46, is serving his first term in the US Senate from Illinois and would be the fifth-youngest president in history. He was an Illinois state senator when he burst on the national scene with a well received keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic convention.
Mr Obama's campaign had urged the last 150 or so undecided superdelegates to make their endorsement before the voting ended, so the delegates he wins in the two states voting on Tuesday could allow him to clinch the Democratic race.
A steady flow of superdelegates complied, making their announcements throughout the day.
Mr Obama lavished praise on Mrs Clinton after beating her.
'Senator Hillary Clinton has made history in this campaign not just because she's a woman who has done what no woman has done before, but because she's a leader who inspires millions of Americans,' he said in his prepared text.
'Our party and our country are better off because of her, and I am a better candidate for having had the honour to compete with Hillary Rodham Clinton,' he said.
Mrs Clinton and her campaign have sent mixed signals over the last two days about how long she would stay in a presidential race that she began as a heavy favourite.
During the conference call with New York lawmakers on Tuesday, she was asked about running as the No. 2 to Mr Obama and said she was open to the idea.
'She said she would do whatever is necessary in order to make certain that we win, and serving as vice-president would be one of the things she would be willing to do,' Representative Charles Rangel of New York, a Clinton supporter who was on the conference call, said in a phone interview. - REUTERS, AFP
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:56 PM,
Reach
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
My heart leaps each time I read of people taking the step of faith to reach for their dreams; to reach for what they've always wanted to do - despite the odds.
Question is... will I rise to my call?
Question is... will I rise to my call?
Straits Times May 26, 2008
77-year-old sets record for Everest
A NEPALESE climber has become the oldest person to summit the world's highest mountain, breaking the previous record held by a Japanese man.
'Min Bahadur Sherchan, 77, reached the top of Everest on Sunday,' Mr Ramesh Khatri Chhetri, an official at Nepal's Tourism Ministry said yesterday.
'Sherchan is in good health and is slowly descending from the summit. He will probably reach the base camp on Monday,' he said.
The previous record was held by Mr Katsusuke Yanagisawa, 71, just last year.
Various records have already been set this spring season as 32 expedition teams push for the summit.
The official said about 220 climbers, including 87 foreigners, had scaled the summit by yesterday morning.
Last week, Appa Sherpa, 48, broke his own world record by getting to the summit of Mount Everest for the 18th time.
The same day, at least 86 climbers successfully made it to the top, which was another record, the official said.
Since it was first conquered in 1953 by Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay, the 8,848m mountain has been scaled more than 3,000 times.
AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:49 PM,
Carry You Home - James Blunt
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Trouble is her only friend and he's back again
Makes her body older than it really is
She says it's high time she went away
No one's got much to say in this town
Trouble is the only way is down
Down, down
As strong as you were, tender you go
I'm watching you breathing for the last time
A song for your heart
But when it is quiet
I know what it means and I'll carry you home
I'll carry you home
If she had wings she would fly away
And another day God will give her some
Trouble is the only way is down
Down, down
As strong as you were, tender you go
I'm watching you breathing for the last time
A song for your heart
But when it is quiet
I know what it means and I'll carry you home
I'll carry you home
And they were all born pretty in New York City tonight
And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight
Under the Stars and Stripes
As strong as you were, tender you go
I'm watching you breathing for the last time
A song for your heart
But when it is quiet
I know what it means and I'll carry you home
I'll carry you home
Labels: Song
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:37 PM,
I have a dream
Friday, April 25, 2008
I was in Melbourne with Jason. We walked in to Gloria Jean’s at the airport – lo and behold, I found Condoleezza Rice staring back at me from behind the front counter! She was working there! She was in her early 20s – frizzy hair tied up, skin tight and flawless, face youthful. She was wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch-type white tee, and blue jeans – looking just like your average girl on the street – except you know and you know, this is no ordinary girl, but a powerful being dressed up in a young girl’s body – man, this is Condoleezza Rice, the most powerful woman on earth next to the current most powerful man on earth, George W. Bush (right, keep your reservations on his ability out of mention here, aite?)
Jason found a couch pretty near the counter, and I ordered coffee for us both. Condoleezza Rice stood tall at the counter, all smiles and friendly. She took my order professionally, like she has been doing this for years. After serving a few more patrons, she took her dark blue apron off and sat herself down at a couch next to me. Not one to let an opportunity slip by me, I struck up a conversation with her and immediately asked if we could pose for a photograph together. She obliged my request with a charming smile and immediately stretched her arm across my shoulders.
She must have been expecting her cousins over because immediately after, her cousins walked into the coffee joint. She got off the couch, bid me farewell and joined them. They crossed the underground street to a convenience store right across the coffee joint. Her cousins were a pretty loud bunch and they looked like they have a pretty good time hanging out together. Condoleezza Rice stood head above shoulders, even among her tall black cousins. Throughout the time she was with them, I noticed that she was always maintaining a calm demeanour, like a posh American college girl. She rarely bends forward; she was always maintaining a straight back and walking tall.
Jason and I lingered across the street from them till they came out of the store and disappeared into the streets.
You never forget a Condoleezza Rice experience. Not even in your dreams...
Gee… I could dream of Barack Obama next… ;)
Jason found a couch pretty near the counter, and I ordered coffee for us both. Condoleezza Rice stood tall at the counter, all smiles and friendly. She took my order professionally, like she has been doing this for years. After serving a few more patrons, she took her dark blue apron off and sat herself down at a couch next to me. Not one to let an opportunity slip by me, I struck up a conversation with her and immediately asked if we could pose for a photograph together. She obliged my request with a charming smile and immediately stretched her arm across my shoulders.
She must have been expecting her cousins over because immediately after, her cousins walked into the coffee joint. She got off the couch, bid me farewell and joined them. They crossed the underground street to a convenience store right across the coffee joint. Her cousins were a pretty loud bunch and they looked like they have a pretty good time hanging out together. Condoleezza Rice stood head above shoulders, even among her tall black cousins. Throughout the time she was with them, I noticed that she was always maintaining a calm demeanour, like a posh American college girl. She rarely bends forward; she was always maintaining a straight back and walking tall.
Jason and I lingered across the street from them till they came out of the store and disappeared into the streets.
You never forget a Condoleezza Rice experience. Not even in your dreams...
Gee… I could dream of Barack Obama next… ;)
Labels: Dream
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:41 AM,
Awe-swim
22/04/08:
A usual morning finds me awakened tired, lethargic, slugging through the day and looking at my world through un-inspired eyes.
An out-of-the-ordinary half-hour swim at 5.15am this morning sets my world ablaze and opened my eyes to the goodness all around:
- My heart swells with delight at the willingness of a loving and sacrificial spouse complying with my crazy antic of waking up at 5am
- The feeling of euphoria is akin to that of attending a high school summer camp
- The joy of seeing the gym in use at 5.15am - which serves to confirm me and Jason aren't the only crazy ones
- The gratefulness of finding the pool water surprisingly, warm, and not chilly as would be expected at such an early hour
- The sympathy towards a clearly drowsy domestic helper walking an old man around the perimeter of the pool to fulfil his daily dose of morning exercise
- The spouse who patiently and caringly attends to me when I slipped and fell the staircase
- The many people going about their daily activities - children going to school, hawkers setting up their stalls, market vendors selling and housewives and domestic helpers buying fresh produce
- A renewed love for Singapore - realising that this is after all a very liveable and comfortable place to settle in
- My overwhelming gratitude and inner joy in realising that God meant every word when He assured me that He would make a way where there seems to be no way, and with His word, comes the assurance of peace
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:17 AM,
This Ordinary Night
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
How times have changed
Have far we have progressed
Such that the modernity of times past
Are now starkly intolerable...
- of MTV's 90s Flashback
He lies down next to me
Pressing his forehead close to my left arm
Snuggled comfortably on bed
Feet tucked underneath the sheets
Fast falling asleep
In the bliss of blessed union.
- of the man
Have far we have progressed
Such that the modernity of times past
Are now starkly intolerable...
- of MTV's 90s Flashback
He lies down next to me
Pressing his forehead close to my left arm
Snuggled comfortably on bed
Feet tucked underneath the sheets
Fast falling asleep
In the bliss of blessed union.
- of the man
Labels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:40 AM,
The Chase
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
There must come a time when she stands up for what she wants to become. The day will come when she stands on the threshold of the incumbent and know that her choice of her dreams may cost her everything, laying bare on the ground the foundation of which she now clings on dearly with her life - it's everything she's got now. She must battle the monsters that attack her from every side, with one goal of bringing her down to the pit of despair. Will she recognise the impending threat upon her sacred life and search for a way out? Or will she lose her way in the winding dark maze of hope lost and dreams afar off?
She looks down into the gurgling waters and closes her eyes. She is yet to be.
Labels: Semi-fiction
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:09 PM,
The Great Eastern Man - Part 2
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
14/03/08
I saw him today. Up close and personal this time. I was rather surprised to hear his daughter speak to him in Teochew. I had expected his surrounding to be English speaking. He looked sadder that I thought; so did his maid. The only one who looked a little happier was his daughter. He ate well - 3 pieces of toast with scrambled eggs. In saying well I meant he handled his utensils well (fork and knife in hand to handle the toasts and eggs). The bakery is generally a quaint place - patrons spoke in soft volumes, as the lull and lounge music play over the system. I must be looking over my table so much over to the table of three that I finally caught a small piece of interaction between two of them. The daughter said something; the maid looked up and released a small smile.
I realised after a while, the harder I tried to enter his world and that of his family, the more I didn't want to do so - it's like I'm afraid I'd lose my sense of intrigue-ness surrounding this man, like I'm afraid to be disappointed at how uninteresting his life story really is. It's like the mass public's intrigue-ness of a celebrity's life. You want to read about them, you want to adore them from a distance but when the rubber hits the road, you don't want the details. You want to keep your distance and maintain the bubble in which you contain the celebrity. You don't want to ruin the halo above their heads.
As I mused over this, his driver arrived in the usual metallic grey Mercedez. I caught the number plate this time, much to my joy (the number of which I will not divulge for privacy sake). The last thing I noticed was that his driver was a plump bespectacled middle-aged man.
I saw him today. Up close and personal this time. I was rather surprised to hear his daughter speak to him in Teochew. I had expected his surrounding to be English speaking. He looked sadder that I thought; so did his maid. The only one who looked a little happier was his daughter. He ate well - 3 pieces of toast with scrambled eggs. In saying well I meant he handled his utensils well (fork and knife in hand to handle the toasts and eggs). The bakery is generally a quaint place - patrons spoke in soft volumes, as the lull and lounge music play over the system. I must be looking over my table so much over to the table of three that I finally caught a small piece of interaction between two of them. The daughter said something; the maid looked up and released a small smile.
I realised after a while, the harder I tried to enter his world and that of his family, the more I didn't want to do so - it's like I'm afraid I'd lose my sense of intrigue-ness surrounding this man, like I'm afraid to be disappointed at how uninteresting his life story really is. It's like the mass public's intrigue-ness of a celebrity's life. You want to read about them, you want to adore them from a distance but when the rubber hits the road, you don't want the details. You want to keep your distance and maintain the bubble in which you contain the celebrity. You don't want to ruin the halo above their heads.
As I mused over this, his driver arrived in the usual metallic grey Mercedez. I caught the number plate this time, much to my joy (the number of which I will not divulge for privacy sake). The last thing I noticed was that his driver was a plump bespectacled middle-aged man.
Labels: Cultural
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:27 PM,
An hour and a half
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
An honest, down to earth and easily digestable view on Senator Barack Obama.http://blog.pmarca.com/2008/03/an-hour-and-a-h.html
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:50 PM,
The Great Eastern Man
He’s a constant patron of the large, uptown and cosy bakery. Every morning at
Life’s simple pleasures: to nourish the body with food, the heart with good relationships, the soul with purpose-driven activities, the mind with knowledge and wisdom. And oh yes, if you are a caffeine-addict like me, coffee too.
Labels: Cultural
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:27 PM,
Why can't Hillary and Obama just form a GRC?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
A little of an old news, but a fairly interesting read by a Singaporean journalist:
Business Times - 15 Feb 2008
Why can't Hillary and Obama just form a GRC?
By Jamie Ee
TO many Singaporeans, the ongoing US presidential elections may well seem to be a mindboggling process. After all, elections have always been a pretty straightforward thing for us - one public holiday, one vote and done deal. The only primary we know is the kind of school our voting is done in. There's no need to figure out what a caucus is, how come super delegates are better than delegates, or ponder the notion that Barack Obama is better liked than Hillary Clinton because he looks better in pantsuits.
Also, from a Singaporean point of view, it's hard to understand why an African-American man, a woman and Anglo-Saxon male even need to campaign against each other by appealing to different demographics. Why, in our country, they would have teamed up and formed the perfect GRC.
Then again, we're probably a simpler people. We don't like complicated politics. We have more practical things to think about - like deciding whether to go for the refundable or non-refundable CPF Life Scheme. Not to mention figuring out how many people we like enough to want to sacrifice a higher monthly payout just so that they can get all the unused money and interest when we kick the bucket.
Besides, there are other things to wonder about, like who will be the next starlet to appear in Edison Chen's photo gallery. Or exactly what happened to cause the wife of Venture Corp chairman Wong Ngit Liong to allegedly slap the SIA stewardess who was trying to serve her husband. Imagine if Michelle Obama had been on Hillary's 'Hil Force One' campaign plane and heard the former first lady dissing Obama by saying 'thank you for choosing the crew with the most experience' - maybe she would have slapped Hillary and said 'How dare you talk (about) my husband!'
Yes, Singaporeans have a lot to learn about American politics, and why much of it can't be translated into the local context. Like, why can't we devote entire planes just to go campaigning? Never mind that maybe the plane can only fly from Changi to Seletar Airport. It'd be a heck of a lot more cool than campaigning from a lorry with just a bullhorn. Even if you're allowed to use the bullhorn later to frighten unsuspecting people walking past.
And maybe the next time we have elections here, we could have really fancy balls to raise money. And have top local chefs prepare sumptuous buffets, with people dressed in tuxedos and ball gowns listening to political speeches. It would be a darn sight better than fried beehoon at community centres or getting bitten by mosquitoes in a rain-soaked open field with only cold curry puffs as snack options.
I suppose it probably wouldn't do to have politicians' spouses talking about their other halves being smelly in the morning or forgetting to keep the butter, like Michelle Obama did, to her husband's detriment. But maybe some little nuggets like a secret fondness for laksa breakfasts or secret fears that wearing white makes them look fat?
OK, fine. So elections American-style aren't likely to make their way here anytime soon. We'll just have to get our ya-yas from watching Hillary and company battle it out over the next few months. Then again, there's also the Malaysian elections coming up. Now that's another one that we can't figure out, but it'll still be fun to watch nonetheless.
Business Times - 15 Feb 2008
Why can't Hillary and Obama just form a GRC?
By Jamie Ee
TO many Singaporeans, the ongoing US presidential elections may well seem to be a mindboggling process. After all, elections have always been a pretty straightforward thing for us - one public holiday, one vote and done deal. The only primary we know is the kind of school our voting is done in. There's no need to figure out what a caucus is, how come super delegates are better than delegates, or ponder the notion that Barack Obama is better liked than Hillary Clinton because he looks better in pantsuits.
Also, from a Singaporean point of view, it's hard to understand why an African-American man, a woman and Anglo-Saxon male even need to campaign against each other by appealing to different demographics. Why, in our country, they would have teamed up and formed the perfect GRC.
Then again, we're probably a simpler people. We don't like complicated politics. We have more practical things to think about - like deciding whether to go for the refundable or non-refundable CPF Life Scheme. Not to mention figuring out how many people we like enough to want to sacrifice a higher monthly payout just so that they can get all the unused money and interest when we kick the bucket.
Besides, there are other things to wonder about, like who will be the next starlet to appear in Edison Chen's photo gallery. Or exactly what happened to cause the wife of Venture Corp chairman Wong Ngit Liong to allegedly slap the SIA stewardess who was trying to serve her husband. Imagine if Michelle Obama had been on Hillary's 'Hil Force One' campaign plane and heard the former first lady dissing Obama by saying 'thank you for choosing the crew with the most experience' - maybe she would have slapped Hillary and said 'How dare you talk (about) my husband!'
Yes, Singaporeans have a lot to learn about American politics, and why much of it can't be translated into the local context. Like, why can't we devote entire planes just to go campaigning? Never mind that maybe the plane can only fly from Changi to Seletar Airport. It'd be a heck of a lot more cool than campaigning from a lorry with just a bullhorn. Even if you're allowed to use the bullhorn later to frighten unsuspecting people walking past.
And maybe the next time we have elections here, we could have really fancy balls to raise money. And have top local chefs prepare sumptuous buffets, with people dressed in tuxedos and ball gowns listening to political speeches. It would be a darn sight better than fried beehoon at community centres or getting bitten by mosquitoes in a rain-soaked open field with only cold curry puffs as snack options.
I suppose it probably wouldn't do to have politicians' spouses talking about their other halves being smelly in the morning or forgetting to keep the butter, like Michelle Obama did, to her husband's detriment. But maybe some little nuggets like a secret fondness for laksa breakfasts or secret fears that wearing white makes them look fat?
OK, fine. So elections American-style aren't likely to make their way here anytime soon. We'll just have to get our ya-yas from watching Hillary and company battle it out over the next few months. Then again, there's also the Malaysian elections coming up. Now that's another one that we can't figure out, but it'll still be fun to watch nonetheless.
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 9:15 PM,
Yes we can - Barack for President
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Created by Will.I.Am for Barack ObamaLabels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 5:42 PM,
Obama's win in South Carolina
Monday, January 28, 2008
Obama's landslide victory in South Carolina on 26 Jan - due in part to many who love him, support his vision and believe in him...
Why am I following the US election so closely, you may ask, when I am not even remotely a US citizen or directly affected by the results of the election? In time to come I will reveal a little more on my tight focus on the election.
http://sc.barackobama.com/page/content/schome
An ardent supporter and volunter campaigner, Josh Stroman's thoughts after Obama's win in South Carolina:
We knew that we were going to have to be committed to the vision of what America could be, if we got involved and worked to bring it to life. The last day was incredible. We ran throughout the city of Columbia, posting signs, increasing visibility, knocking on doors, walking with people to the actual polling places. Whatever we had to do to ensure Senator Obama's victory, we were committed to doing it.
...His victory is vindication for so many of us who believe in what this country can be. It is also an indication that the American people can stand against the power of the establishment in order to usher in a new attitude and approach to uplifting the greater good.
I have invested, and I believe we all have, such an enormous amount of personal energy. We embraced Senator Obama's vision... in which each of us are empowered to be innovative in creating solutions that match the common challenges that we all face...
Lastly, I want to tell Senator Obama, that WE are so very proud of him, for having enough confidence and faith in the American people to launch this historic journey to restore the American presidency to its highest mantle.
This will not be easy, but it is very important that each American citizen, who believes that America can truly be a nation for the people and of the people, to get out and canvass, caucus, make phone calls, post signs, be patient with those who do not fully grasp the significance of the opportunity and it is important for us, to work with positive and encouraging spirits when speaking of the vision that we each share of a brighter and more promising America.
Being a part of Senator Obama’s campaign has meant so much to me. My friends and I plan on driving to Georgia, we may go to Maryland, Virginia and many more places if need be. I know that my story has inspired so many, but understand, that it is indeed, Senator Barack Obama, who has inspired me to dream dreams that I never thought could be possible. As I am empowered, I am allowed to empower others and in South Carolina, unity brought victory. I will forever be grateful for how this campaign has transformed my life and pray that each of us get involved in our own unique way, to reclaim the hope and the future of this nation. Thank you Senator Obama for allowing the American people, as diverse as we may be, to stand together as one people, and both collectively and individually contribute our talents and gifts to a cause much greater than ourselves.
Why am I following the US election so closely, you may ask, when I am not even remotely a US citizen or directly affected by the results of the election? In time to come I will reveal a little more on my tight focus on the election.
http://sc.barackobama.com/page/content/schome
An ardent supporter and volunter campaigner, Josh Stroman's thoughts after Obama's win in South Carolina:
We knew that we were going to have to be committed to the vision of what America could be, if we got involved and worked to bring it to life. The last day was incredible. We ran throughout the city of Columbia, posting signs, increasing visibility, knocking on doors, walking with people to the actual polling places. Whatever we had to do to ensure Senator Obama's victory, we were committed to doing it.
...His victory is vindication for so many of us who believe in what this country can be. It is also an indication that the American people can stand against the power of the establishment in order to usher in a new attitude and approach to uplifting the greater good.
I have invested, and I believe we all have, such an enormous amount of personal energy. We embraced Senator Obama's vision... in which each of us are empowered to be innovative in creating solutions that match the common challenges that we all face...
Lastly, I want to tell Senator Obama, that WE are so very proud of him, for having enough confidence and faith in the American people to launch this historic journey to restore the American presidency to its highest mantle.
This will not be easy, but it is very important that each American citizen, who believes that America can truly be a nation for the people and of the people, to get out and canvass, caucus, make phone calls, post signs, be patient with those who do not fully grasp the significance of the opportunity and it is important for us, to work with positive and encouraging spirits when speaking of the vision that we each share of a brighter and more promising America.
Being a part of Senator Obama’s campaign has meant so much to me. My friends and I plan on driving to Georgia, we may go to Maryland, Virginia and many more places if need be. I know that my story has inspired so many, but understand, that it is indeed, Senator Barack Obama, who has inspired me to dream dreams that I never thought could be possible. As I am empowered, I am allowed to empower others and in South Carolina, unity brought victory. I will forever be grateful for how this campaign has transformed my life and pray that each of us get involved in our own unique way, to reclaim the hope and the future of this nation. Thank you Senator Obama for allowing the American people, as diverse as we may be, to stand together as one people, and both collectively and individually contribute our talents and gifts to a cause much greater than ourselves.
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:47 AM,
Tenjewberrymuds
Monday, January 21, 2008
To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service,
at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome."
Labels: Humour
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:32 PM,
Yes we can
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Barack Obama conceded defeat to Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire on 8 Jan 2008, but he did so nevertheless, with a victory speech. An excerpt from Newsweek:
Speaking of an American spirit of "Yes, we can," Obama said: "It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes, we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom through the darkest of nights.
Yes, we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes, we can.
It was the call of workers who organized, women who reached for the ballot, a president who chose the moon as our New Frontier and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes, we can, to justice and equality."
Way to go, Obama!
Speaking of an American spirit of "Yes, we can," Obama said: "It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes, we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom through the darkest of nights.
Yes, we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes, we can.
It was the call of workers who organized, women who reached for the ballot, a president who chose the moon as our New Frontier and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes, we can, to justice and equality."
Way to go, Obama!
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:10 AM,
Hillary vs Obama
Monday, January 14, 2008
The campaign between Democrats Obama and Clinton is heating up piping hot as the Democratic Primary draws near on Jan 26...
Excerpt from Newsweek, the article "Letting Hillary be Hillary"
The tangled issues seem to arise daily, even hourly. I asked a colleague of mine, an African-American woman who lives in neither Iowa nor New Hampshire, to write me a note describing her private feelings about the campaign. "I was a Hillary supporter going into the primaries," she said. "When Barack won in Iowa, I felt like a traitor to my race. What if this really is a moment where a black president is possible and I was going to vote for the woman! I felt awful. I constructed this whole complicated theory that I was resistant to the election of Barack because, if he won, then I and every other black person in the world was going to have to accept a new paradigm in American race relations—namely racism is not as pervasive and encompassing as we might like to believe and that the victim stance was going to be pretty hard to claim in the future. So then I became really excited and imagined how inspirational a black president would be, especially to the young black men who feel hopeless. Then came the 'You're likable enough, Hillary' moment, and I swung sharply back to Hillary. I thought: 'Great, another man who resents strong women and therefore resorts to personal insults to demean her'." In sum: from Clinton to Obama then back to Clinton—in the space of about four days.
Such is the sensitivity of these 2 Democratic candidates that
South Carolina Rep. James E. Clyburn felt compelled to issue a statement calling for a ceasefire: "I encourage the candidates to be sensitive about the words they use. This is an historic race for America to have such strong, diverse candidates vying for the Democratic nomination." John Lewis, the Georgia congressman, civil-rights veteran and perennial optimist, said, "I hope we will put these issues of gender and race to rest and return to the marketplace of politics."
Are we living in a historical moment or what?
(Note: My comments in purple, excerpt from Newsweek in blue)
Excerpt from Newsweek, the article "Letting Hillary be Hillary"
The tangled issues seem to arise daily, even hourly. I asked a colleague of mine, an African-American woman who lives in neither Iowa nor New Hampshire, to write me a note describing her private feelings about the campaign. "I was a Hillary supporter going into the primaries," she said. "When Barack won in Iowa, I felt like a traitor to my race. What if this really is a moment where a black president is possible and I was going to vote for the woman! I felt awful. I constructed this whole complicated theory that I was resistant to the election of Barack because, if he won, then I and every other black person in the world was going to have to accept a new paradigm in American race relations—namely racism is not as pervasive and encompassing as we might like to believe and that the victim stance was going to be pretty hard to claim in the future. So then I became really excited and imagined how inspirational a black president would be, especially to the young black men who feel hopeless. Then came the 'You're likable enough, Hillary' moment, and I swung sharply back to Hillary. I thought: 'Great, another man who resents strong women and therefore resorts to personal insults to demean her'." In sum: from Clinton to Obama then back to Clinton—in the space of about four days.
Such is the sensitivity of these 2 Democratic candidates that
South Carolina Rep. James E. Clyburn felt compelled to issue a statement calling for a ceasefire: "I encourage the candidates to be sensitive about the words they use. This is an historic race for America to have such strong, diverse candidates vying for the Democratic nomination." John Lewis, the Georgia congressman, civil-rights veteran and perennial optimist, said, "I hope we will put these issues of gender and race to rest and return to the marketplace of politics."
Are we living in a historical moment or what?
(Note: My comments in purple, excerpt from Newsweek in blue)
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:32 PM,
Change we can believe in
Sunday, January 06, 2008
We all need a change we can believe in. A change that can stamp a steady foot in the ground and say: “enough is enough of days of defeat and disappointment and discouragement. A new day has come – a day of hope once again, a day of light at the end of a dark tunnel once again – a change we can all believe in.”
There has been many a defeating moment in my life where over time, I lose a sense a believe in myself and in my ability to do better and do something extraordinary with these pair of ordinary hands, an inquisitive mind and a sincere heart. Many a day when I go to sleep at night discouraged at how little I have accomplished and how far I have fallen short of what I think I am capable of doing. When I see the toil and works of great men and women all round the world, I know in my heart of hearts that I can be that woman – that I too, can harbour big dreams and do great things in my lifetime, in my generation, not just for the benefit of my own self, or my family, or m friends, but for strangers whom I do not know, but lack the resources and ability to stand up for justice and do what could essentially improve their lives and make them a little happier, a little more complete. I believe I can be such a woman to do such a thing.
And that is why I am truly inspired by this African-American Senator of Illinois. In him I see the hope of a generation lost and weary. In him I see an intensity that outlines the enormous burden he carries in his heart and soul for a people he identifies as his own – the American people. In him I see the love of a man for his family and a love for God that directs him in the way that he is now walking – a path of integrity and responsibility and justice.
This man proposes a change Americans can believe in, when Americans have far too long been disappointed by governments that cared more for their agendas than the interests of the American people. With the ongoing presidential campaign for the Presidential seat in 2008, I am following close behind to be inspired myself – to fan afresh my dying flame of a change I can believe in for myself – that my dreams need not stay buried, but I can bring it out in the open once again – I can lay them in a straight line, walk alongside them and resurrect them into reality. I can believe in myself again.
There has been many a defeating moment in my life where over time, I lose a sense a believe in myself and in my ability to do better and do something extraordinary with these pair of ordinary hands, an inquisitive mind and a sincere heart. Many a day when I go to sleep at night discouraged at how little I have accomplished and how far I have fallen short of what I think I am capable of doing. When I see the toil and works of great men and women all round the world, I know in my heart of hearts that I can be that woman – that I too, can harbour big dreams and do great things in my lifetime, in my generation, not just for the benefit of my own self, or my family, or m friends, but for strangers whom I do not know, but lack the resources and ability to stand up for justice and do what could essentially improve their lives and make them a little happier, a little more complete. I believe I can be such a woman to do such a thing.
And that is why I am truly inspired by this African-American Senator of Illinois. In him I see the hope of a generation lost and weary. In him I see an intensity that outlines the enormous burden he carries in his heart and soul for a people he identifies as his own – the American people. In him I see the love of a man for his family and a love for God that directs him in the way that he is now walking – a path of integrity and responsibility and justice.
This man proposes a change Americans can believe in, when Americans have far too long been disappointed by governments that cared more for their agendas than the interests of the American people. With the ongoing presidential campaign for the Presidential seat in 2008, I am following close behind to be inspired myself – to fan afresh my dying flame of a change I can believe in for myself – that my dreams need not stay buried, but I can bring it out in the open once again – I can lay them in a straight line, walk alongside them and resurrect them into reality. I can believe in myself again.
Labels: Barack Obama, Personal reflection, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 4:16 PM,
The Leap
Sunday, December 16, 2007
My HeartI stood at the threshold of a breakthrough
The waters flowed freely and I held nothing back
I yielded all I am and will ever be
Knowing that nothing I withhold could bring me forward
The clouds burst, the sky cracked open and the wind beckoned
Confident of what lies ahead, I sealed my mind and
Leapt forward to grace
Ritchell Lim
She stood straight, pure and innocent
She struck her first chord
And my tear well burst
In her I saw the reality of life’s imperfections
Redeemed by the glory of God’s grace
In her I saw what love and family can do
To nurture the beauty of a child
In her I saw what mankind could achieve
When we cast aside worldly cares
And commit to a vision of the gifts withinLabels: Poetry
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:03 PM,
The O & O Show
Monday, December 10, 2007
Straits Times -
Welcome to the O & O show
Obama hopes Oprah's support will win him the Democratic ticket
DES MOINES (
Winfrey brought a showbiz buzz to Mr Obama's campaign over the weekend, kicking off a three- state tour with a rousing speech to screaming fans who braved freezing weather to see her.
One of the biggest crowds so far in the 2008 race for president - some 18,500 people - crammed into a hall in
'I'm here to tell you,
She urged voters to back Mr Obama's 'new vision' for the
Winfrey's dramatic appearance helped underscore the high stakes in the first caucuses, which will be held on Jan3.
Running neck-and-neck in the polls here and unable to predict how voters will react to sharp clashes close to the holidays, Mr Obama and his rival for the Democratic nomination Hilary Rodham Clinton are campaigning furiously, with an emphasis on winning over female voters.
Clinging to her role as the national front runner, Mrs Clinton scrambled to match the Oprah moment by taking her 88-year-old mother, Mrs Dorothy Rodham, and
Neither had appeared publicly yet with the senator in her presidential bid.
The reluctant Chelsea Clinton's public emergence normally would have been big news, but it was a lastminute move that was overshadowed by hype surrounding Winfrey.
Mrs Clinton - pledging 'change across the generations' as she courted voters - all but conceded that Mr Obama's high-wattage events would dominate the weekend news.
Mr Obama's roadshow continued yesterday with a signature rally in
Winfrey is viewed as one of the most influential entertainers in the world. Mr Obama hopes her millions of mainly female disciples will help him outpace Mrs Clinton, the first woman with a realistic chance of winning the White House.
But Winfrey's influence on politics is as yet untested. A
In her speech, Winfrey said Mr Obama's stance as a candidate of change was more important than the perceived lack of political experience for which opponents such as Mrs Clinton criticise him.
'Experience in the hallways of government isn't as important to me as the experience on the pathway of life,' Winfrey said, citing the first-term
Many people at Saturday's event said Winfrey was largely the reason they attended. After she spoke, hundreds left, missing all or part of Mr Obama's speech.
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:46 PM,
Enjoy thy family
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
I thoroughly enjoy watching my family bask in comfort, love, warmth and most importantly security, in this land of great governance and upright leadership.
I thoroughly enjoy having my family spend precious time doing the most mundane of things that families do together – eating together, watching television together, sharing comments about the latest company take over or rise in property prices, having mom cut fresh fruits a couple of hours after dinner time, us sitting around the living room in front of the television; watching Discovery Channel together, the cold December wind blowing furiously through the wide open windows, telling us that Christmas is beckoning.
I thoroughly enjoy the blessings I have been given.
Labels: Family
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:59 PM,
Politics
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The past few months have been a whirlwind journey of discovery and inner reflection – a reflection on the issues that threatens us as individuals and as societies joined together in a race for survival and national advancement.
I can’t say the same for certain countries, particularly one whose leaders are incapable of uniting its multi-racial people, with its blatant favouritism evidenced by its policies that advance only those belonging to its favoured group and incompetence in battling corruption among its leaders, people in power and authority who were elected to key appointments to advance the cause of the people they were meant to serve. How does a people pledge allegiance to a government that jeopardises social security by closing an eye to the evidential abuse of power in the ranks of authority? How does a people pledge allegiance to leaders who enter civil service to advance their personal interests?
Are lessons not meant to be learnt? Is a nation not to progress? Why then are we seeing regress, instead of progress, in a country which undoubtedly carries within it, men and women of outstanding calibre and extreme talent, men and women with charisma, bright minds and fiery passion?
Do we wait till the young people pack their bags to leave at the most opportune time, plant their roots in foreign shores, receive nourishment from foreign sources, take on the culture, education and identity of foreign lands because they have been far too malnourished in the bosom of their motherland?
There ought to be a new vision in the leadership – a vision that presents equality for all its citizens, a vision that sets social security as a high priority, a conviction that pushes through the influence of profiteers, nay-sayers and spin masters to present a daring truth that stands on the foundation of those that has gone before us, men and women who laid down their lives to secure the independence of the nation that all may progress, advance and carve a secure, bright, upright and prosperous future together.
I can’t say the same for certain countries, particularly one whose leaders are incapable of uniting its multi-racial people, with its blatant favouritism evidenced by its policies that advance only those belonging to its favoured group and incompetence in battling corruption among its leaders, people in power and authority who were elected to key appointments to advance the cause of the people they were meant to serve. How does a people pledge allegiance to a government that jeopardises social security by closing an eye to the evidential abuse of power in the ranks of authority? How does a people pledge allegiance to leaders who enter civil service to advance their personal interests?
Are lessons not meant to be learnt? Is a nation not to progress? Why then are we seeing regress, instead of progress, in a country which undoubtedly carries within it, men and women of outstanding calibre and extreme talent, men and women with charisma, bright minds and fiery passion?
Do we wait till the young people pack their bags to leave at the most opportune time, plant their roots in foreign shores, receive nourishment from foreign sources, take on the culture, education and identity of foreign lands because they have been far too malnourished in the bosom of their motherland?
There ought to be a new vision in the leadership – a vision that presents equality for all its citizens, a vision that sets social security as a high priority, a conviction that pushes through the influence of profiteers, nay-sayers and spin masters to present a daring truth that stands on the foundation of those that has gone before us, men and women who laid down their lives to secure the independence of the nation that all may progress, advance and carve a secure, bright, upright and prosperous future together.
Labels: Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:40 PM,
Meet Barack Obama
Monday, November 19, 2007
See the man in action - see his hope, passion & life unfold in this 5-min video clip.Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:34 PM,
The Kite Runner - the movie
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The most anticipated movie since I picked up the book exactly a year ago, in Nov 06.To gain a little understanding on the background of the book, I have previously posted an interview with the author, Khaled Hosseini: http://lilwritergie.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html
Now here's a trailer of the movie - an amazing story of 2 friends, close as brothers, set in Kabul. A journey of friendship, kinship, love, trust, betrayal, redemption and faith.
Labels: Author, Literature
posted by Angeline Tan @ 2:41 PM,
Barack Obama's campaign for presidency
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Senator Barack Obama's campaign for presidency. Tell me if you don't feel his passion and heart for the people he's serving. Will he change the course of black history by being the first black president of the United States of America?
I may be no American,and I may have no business with American politics, who becomes president, etc. But I have a business to be challenged by the fact that history's about to change when the great nation of American could open up its political doors to a black man and potentially have him lead the American people from the platform of a power, influence and laedership.
Can you imagine the impact he's gonna make with his succesful election, not just in America, for the American people, but in the world, for the people of the world whose voices do not speak as loudly as their American counterparts.
Below are 3 videos from Barack's site:
1. Canvass for Change Rally at Des Moines, Iowa on 13 Oct 2007:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid900881681/bclid900480414/bctid1243732338
2. Barack's speech at DePaul University, Chicago on 2 Oct 2007:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid900881681/bclid900480414/bctid1214063150
3. Alice Walker speaks on Barack:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid900881681/bclid900480414/bctid1201929195
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:27 AM,
Inspired for change
If your life is channelled towards doing something you are passionately driven by, the fruit of your labour will display an achievement so fulfilling, so impactful. -A.T.
I have always believed all things are possible. This belief is further enhanced by my discovery of Barack Obama's achievement in politics - a black American, a Senator for the State of Illinois, and a probable presidency candidate.
A review said thus: "If Barack Obama is successful in his quest to become President of the United States, he will dramatically change the face that his country presents to the world."
To learn a lil' more on Barack Obama, check out http://www.barackobama.com/about/
For a thorough read into his life and family history, read "Dreams from my Father". For his thoughts on American politics, read "The Audacity of Hope".
Labels: Barack Obama, Political
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:25 AM,
Tribute to my man
Monday, October 01, 2007
It's time for tribute once again. In honor of my MAN.
He's always helping me get into the right learning environment to advance my interests, to name a few:
1. When I wanted to write more - he encouraged me to blog
2. When I wanted to read more - he buys me books from time to time, and the amazing thing is, he uses wise discernment to get me the exact kind of books that get me ticking!
3. When I wanted to learn French - he found me a website to learn French with others online
4. When I wanted to swim more often - he accompanies me to the pool, not swimming himself, but bringing his laptop to do his work or a book along to read
5. When I wanted to go to JB once a month to visit my parents - he puts aside his own agendas to accompany me and spend quality time with my family
6. When I am down - he buys me things, brings me places, and be extra sweet to melt my misery away
The list above is by no doubt non-exhaustive. Words would fail me to list the sweetness, kindness, grace and love he's shown and constantly showing me.
I often say this and I'm gonna say it again - I know how much God loves me through the love He brings into my life - family, friends, leaders, colleagues, all things beautiful. The most beautiful of all, my greatest love on earth - my husband and best bud, JPK ;)
He's always helping me get into the right learning environment to advance my interests, to name a few:
1. When I wanted to write more - he encouraged me to blog
2. When I wanted to read more - he buys me books from time to time, and the amazing thing is, he uses wise discernment to get me the exact kind of books that get me ticking!
3. When I wanted to learn French - he found me a website to learn French with others online
4. When I wanted to swim more often - he accompanies me to the pool, not swimming himself, but bringing his laptop to do his work or a book along to read
5. When I wanted to go to JB once a month to visit my parents - he puts aside his own agendas to accompany me and spend quality time with my family
6. When I am down - he buys me things, brings me places, and be extra sweet to melt my misery away
The list above is by no doubt non-exhaustive. Words would fail me to list the sweetness, kindness, grace and love he's shown and constantly showing me.
I often say this and I'm gonna say it again - I know how much God loves me through the love He brings into my life - family, friends, leaders, colleagues, all things beautiful. The most beautiful of all, my greatest love on earth - my husband and best bud, JPK ;)
Labels: Jason
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:03 PM,
Babbles of the Unmotivated
Friday, September 21, 2007
She sits in the dark and wonders when light will comeIf I may lift this yoke off from my shoulder, she cries
If I may lift my eyes and look yonder
I could see what I’ve been blind to see
She sits in the dark and explodes nothingness
There are those who found their jobs the most mundane of all, but found needs to meet in the course of their work. Solutions to automate work processes, improve lines of communication, innovate products and services.
Work, however mundane, is important because it feeds my basic needs in this real world. It finances my after work and weekend activities. It finances the pursuit of my dreams. Work is important because it makes me live off the edge and cherish, devour and relish whatever time I have. Work forces me in the corner of discomfort and makes me strive for greater things in life which otherwise would not have been pondered over.
Solitary is the manifestation of one’s inadequacy to be by oneself.
If you are my muse, you are the words that whirl in my mind.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:31 PM,
He taught me
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Like a child he sat down and read every word I wrote. Not mere browsing, mind you, but with focused concentration, so much so he didn't even turn around to wave goodbye when I bid him & mom farewell on my monthly visit back home.
I have to admit, I felt somewhat flattered that dad would take an interest in my writings, never mind they're but journal entries on Multiply (http://lildrummergie.multiply.com/journal).
I have been trained to write since I was little. Dad would make me reach for the brown notebook placed at the edge of a tall cupboard in the living room, and have me sit down quietly by myself for 15 mins to pen my journal entry, every single day. I was encouraged to write about anything and everything - the weather, my encounters in school, my friends, teachers, sports, my favourite things, etc. He read and marked my journal each day, and each new day I had to do corrections on top of making a fresh entry. And so I wrote. And kept writing.
And today I'm still writing. I'm writing because the words just wouldn't stop flowing. I see pictures and images in my mind that dad taught me to see. He taught me to question what I didn't understand, he painted me illustrations to explain everything he knew from science to geography to mathematics, economics and politics. He taught me all that he knew and all that he was constantly learning. Like a sponge, I took in all he had to offer.
At 29 today, I am a sum total of his impartation. The good aplenty, the bad, well, a number, but most importantly, I took in the best of them all - the love of a father, my teacher and guide.
I have to admit, I felt somewhat flattered that dad would take an interest in my writings, never mind they're but journal entries on Multiply (http://lildrummergie.multiply.com/journal).
I have been trained to write since I was little. Dad would make me reach for the brown notebook placed at the edge of a tall cupboard in the living room, and have me sit down quietly by myself for 15 mins to pen my journal entry, every single day. I was encouraged to write about anything and everything - the weather, my encounters in school, my friends, teachers, sports, my favourite things, etc. He read and marked my journal each day, and each new day I had to do corrections on top of making a fresh entry. And so I wrote. And kept writing.
And today I'm still writing. I'm writing because the words just wouldn't stop flowing. I see pictures and images in my mind that dad taught me to see. He taught me to question what I didn't understand, he painted me illustrations to explain everything he knew from science to geography to mathematics, economics and politics. He taught me all that he knew and all that he was constantly learning. Like a sponge, I took in all he had to offer.
At 29 today, I am a sum total of his impartation. The good aplenty, the bad, well, a number, but most importantly, I took in the best of them all - the love of a father, my teacher and guide.
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:17 PM,
Tolerance
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Dust and dirt particles - they are so minute they're hardly oblivious to the human eye. Yet they're everywhere and we survive all the same in the presence of such uncleanness - when we order food from a roadside stall, when our table at the coffeeshop is perched on top of a covered drain, when we cross the carbon monoxide-filled roads, when a passer-by sneezes right into our face. We are oblivious to what we can't see - but know is there.Maybe we're created such to learn tolerance. And I don't mean tolerance towards natural things. There is a spiritual lesson in all things natural. In learning tolerance I mean tolerance towards mankind - socially, racially, culturally. Ethnic and race groups vary and differ from border to border. Different faces and races are everywhere. Some groups deem themselves higher and more supreme than others. Fair enough - I mean, who's to judge - bottom line is, we live in mutual tolerance. We accept. We live. Coz we belong to the same Creator.
Labels: Personal reflection, Social
posted by Angeline Tan @ 10:46 PM,
Beauty of Love
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
I learnt much more than I bargained for these 2 weeks of wedding, honeymoon and marriage.
I learnt that there is indeed no support like that of the family.
I learnt that there is indeed no place like home – where communion, love and warmth abound.
Beautiful places around the world cannot hold their place in our hearts like the beauty of love within the family home.
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:49 AM,
Lost & Found
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
The big fella was barking unreservedly - earnestly calling out to its master. He was tied up to a traffic light at a busy city centre junction - a big, black & beautiful dog. It was a rather unusual sight to see a dog in the middle of a business district - alone and its master nowhere in sight. I could see though - he was barking at a cafeteria nearby. Maybe its master was in there buying breakfast and had to tie the dog outside.
Not understanding why he was left alone in a foreign place - he got frightened and barked endlessly. He barked at the cafeteria, and at people all around him - people waiting for the green man at the pedestrian crossing. From the way he barked and moved his body up and down, scanning all directions - I could see his lostlessness and desperation. His eyes especially when he turned to bark at my direction - I could see that he was almost crying out for help - as if to say, "please somebody, help, I'm looking for my master."
If an animal can sense such loss, abandonment and aloneness in a foreign environment - how much more a human being left to fend for himself/herself with no family, kin or friends?
I am fortunate to have family, warmth, love, shelter and provision all my years. There are times when I wish I didn't have to answer to the many questionings and put up with the many unreasonable acts of family members. But realising that there are individuals and dear ones out there who do not have a family, much less a loving one - to call their own - but only their two feet and a strong heart to fend for themselves - I think we who have families are many times over fortunate and blessed.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 11:19 PM,
Quality Relationship
Friday, May 04, 2007
We can never spend enough time with the ones we love and care about. Family, friends, colleagues, buddies - though the level of intimacy differs, at the end of each journey with different ones, we always lament at the lack of time spent with them. A colleague of mine recently left the firm. As I bid her farewell on her last day of work, I felt a tinge of regret at not spending time with and knowing her more. There was that moment of awkwardness that could not be replaced with lots of goodbyes and take cares.
Lesson learnt: As they say, it's not about the quantity of time spent with loved ones - it's about the quality of time spent in learning, discovering, accepting, loving and caring for others that truly matters.
Lesson learnt: As they say, it's not about the quantity of time spent with loved ones - it's about the quality of time spent in learning, discovering, accepting, loving and caring for others that truly matters.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:51 AM,
12 things I love about him
Monday, April 16, 2007
- He loves me, no matter how loud and boisterous I am
- He insists we sit side by side while dining, and not opposite as most couples do
- He holds my hand when we travel in the car
- He stands by me through my worst times
- He fights my monsters with me
- He forgives quickly
- He doesn’t harp on my wrongs
- He doesn’t judge anyone and is reluctant to give a negative opinion
- He praises, encourages and believes that I am and can be the best I want to be
- His love, sensitivity, care and thoughtfulness for me and others
- His giving and serving nature
- His unwavering faith and trust in God and His provision
Labels: Jason
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:22 AM,
In Him, thru Him
Thursday, April 12, 2007
A negative mind cannot find God because God is in the positiveI got to lead my mind with the Word of God or my mind will lead me wrong
When I make room for God, barrenness disappears. Fruitfulness will come
God will move into the space that I make for Him
God will rather have you messy than not have you at all
Labels: Quote
posted by Angeline Tan @ 1:39 AM,
Lil' by lil'
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Your life can change drastically when a significant part of your weakness is improved.
I’ve been a late comer for work for as far as I remember. Much of my despondency and inefficiency at work were largely due to my late coming. In recent months, since the commencement of my current job some 6 months back – I have never arrived at work late. This may not be a biggie for some, but for me, for one who was never ever punctual for work, this sure is! Now that I’m arriving at my work area an hour earlier each work day, I am more alert, efficient, productive and responsible in what I do.
Just an improvement in this area alone has drastically propelled me further and higher, instilling greater discipline and achievement that were once distant and out of reach. I am determined to reach higher and I know I can.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:57 PM,
Recent Photo Albums
JB Trip 6 Apr 2007
http://lildrummergie.multiply.com/photos/album/6
Sis & Family
http://lildrummergie.multiply.com/photos/album/9
http://lildrummergie.multiply.com/photos/album/9
Labels: Family
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:53 AM,
Pa
Friday, March 30, 2007
I think of him daily,
Sometimes first thing in the morning
Each thought of him reminds me
Of the failed expectation that I am
I failed to listen, obey and offer filial piety
I want so much to step nearer
Into his paternal embrace
I want so much to touch
His tenderness and grace
I dread the cold tone,
Felt its sting over the line
I could have, would have,
But fear freezes me in
I think of him daily
And wish I’m bigger than my fear
Sometimes first thing in the morning
Each thought of him reminds me
Of the failed expectation that I am
I failed to listen, obey and offer filial piety
I want so much to step nearer
Into his paternal embrace
I want so much to touch
His tenderness and grace
I dread the cold tone,
Felt its sting over the line
I could have, would have,
But fear freezes me in
I think of him daily
And wish I’m bigger than my fear
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:05 AM,
Way Back Into Love
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Chinese New Year saw me watching quite a number of new movies - Protege, Norbit, and my favourite to-date - Music & Lyrics. The title may sound straight like a ruler, but it sure is a blaster! I'm sure it's a hot favourite among many others too, I mean who can resist the oh so romantic story line and fuzzy Hugh Grant and damsel-in-distress Drew Barrymore? Hugh Grant does best at fumbling yet absolutely witty lines, and he's once again stolen the limelight in this movie with his forte.
All hands and feet up for the 3 songs - Pop! Goes My Heart, Way Back Into Love and the other by Hugh Grant which I have no idea what the title is but is also a fantastic song. The lyrics to Way Back Into Love carries so much meaning I love it in its entirety. Nah that's playing it down... I'm crazy about it! Haha.
Right, here's the video for romance sake. After all, bells are set to ring not long from now... haha if you know what I mean. To JPK. Cheerios! ;)
All hands and feet up for the 3 songs - Pop! Goes My Heart, Way Back Into Love and the other by Hugh Grant which I have no idea what the title is but is also a fantastic song. The lyrics to Way Back Into Love carries so much meaning I love it in its entirety. Nah that's playing it down... I'm crazy about it! Haha.
Right, here's the video for romance sake. After all, bells are set to ring not long from now... haha if you know what I mean. To JPK. Cheerios! ;)
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Labels: Song
posted by Angeline Tan @ 3:26 PM,
The written word
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I’ve always been an ardent student of history, partly because I love stories. And history is full of intriguing histories and worthy lessons to be learnt. The many Chinese historic stories in A Thousand Pieces of Gold brought me much insight into the richness of the written word.
Here’s what the back cover of the book says – and I pray it inspires you as much to pick up a copy for your personal mental and cultural enrichment…
Proverbs are fascinating in my country but in China they still play and have always played a far more significant role.
Most Chinese proverbs are based on historical events and the greatest number originate frm that extraordinary period of history when the first Emperor of China – creator of the terracotta soldiers – ruled.
Kings, warlords, scholars and courtiers plot and counter plot in a vigorous, energetic, restless society brought vividly by Adeline Yen Mah. She combines the historical narrative with personal insights fromher own life to illustrate the influence of proverbs in contemporary situations, creating a window into Chinese life for Western readers.
Here’s what the back cover of the book says – and I pray it inspires you as much to pick up a copy for your personal mental and cultural enrichment…
Proverbs are fascinating in my country but in China they still play and have always played a far more significant role.
One written word is worth a thousand pieces of gold
Most Chinese proverbs are based on historical events and the greatest number originate frm that extraordinary period of history when the first Emperor of China – creator of the terracotta soldiers – ruled.
Precious treasure worth cherishing
Kings, warlords, scholars and courtiers plot and counter plot in a vigorous, energetic, restless society brought vividly by Adeline Yen Mah. She combines the historical narrative with personal insights fromher own life to illustrate the influence of proverbs in contemporary situations, creating a window into Chinese life for Western readers.
Little sparrows with dreams of swans
Labels: Literature
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:27 PM,
Pearl S. Buck
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Carrying a book in one's hands is a good thing to do - it has almost always sparked off conversations in an otherwise quiet lift. I have had that happened to me several times now and have thus drawn this fine conclusion.
As is my usual morning routine, I'll reach my work area an hour earlier, settle myself comfortably at a nearby breakfast eatery with my ham and egg mayo sandwich and a hot cup of coffee, with my favourite read in hand. I'm currently trailing Adeline Yen Mah's collection. At a quarter to nine, I'll usually rise to make my way to the office. This morning a colleague spotted me holding Adeline Yen Mah's A Thousand Pieces of Gold and found that I enjoy Chinese history and recommended me an excellent American writer, Pearl S. Buck, an American who spent most of her growing up years in China and who would return years later to dwell in the great land.
More than a great writer with a dozen award winning books under her belt and the first American woman to win a Nobel Prize in Literature, Pearl was a compassionate humanitarian. She personally adopted about a dozen children and established the Pearl S. Buck Foundation, which provides sponsorship funding for thousands of children in half-a-dozen Asian countries
According to wikipedia, Pearl wrote over 100 works of literature, her best-known being The Good Earth. The Good Earth chronicled the fictional life of the farmer Wang Lung against the backdrop of 20th century turmoil and revolution in China. It traces the rise of Wang Lung from the abject poverty of his early days to his final years by which he had accumulated great wealth and power. The novel portrays the complexities of marriage, parenthood, joy, pain, and human frailty. Pearl stresses in the novel the value of fertile land, hard work, thrift, and responsibility. The novel has a very circular feel to it, recreating the ebb and flow of life, the change of seasons, and the cycles of age and family. Pearl's writing is unique in the way it blends the technical language of the King James Bible with the simplicity and directness of the old Chinese narrative sagas.
Her writing career only began at the age of 41. Now that speaks volumes to me - there's hope for struggling, aspiring writers. I should be grabbing a title from Pearl's collection soon - probably beginning with The Good Earth.
As is my usual morning routine, I'll reach my work area an hour earlier, settle myself comfortably at a nearby breakfast eatery with my ham and egg mayo sandwich and a hot cup of coffee, with my favourite read in hand. I'm currently trailing Adeline Yen Mah's collection. At a quarter to nine, I'll usually rise to make my way to the office. This morning a colleague spotted me holding Adeline Yen Mah's A Thousand Pieces of Gold and found that I enjoy Chinese history and recommended me an excellent American writer, Pearl S. Buck, an American who spent most of her growing up years in China and who would return years later to dwell in the great land.
More than a great writer with a dozen award winning books under her belt and the first American woman to win a Nobel Prize in Literature, Pearl was a compassionate humanitarian. She personally adopted about a dozen children and established the Pearl S. Buck Foundation, which provides sponsorship funding for thousands of children in half-a-dozen Asian countries
According to wikipedia, Pearl wrote over 100 works of literature, her best-known being The Good Earth. The Good Earth chronicled the fictional life of the farmer Wang Lung against the backdrop of 20th century turmoil and revolution in China. It traces the rise of Wang Lung from the abject poverty of his early days to his final years by which he had accumulated great wealth and power. The novel portrays the complexities of marriage, parenthood, joy, pain, and human frailty. Pearl stresses in the novel the value of fertile land, hard work, thrift, and responsibility. The novel has a very circular feel to it, recreating the ebb and flow of life, the change of seasons, and the cycles of age and family. Pearl's writing is unique in the way it blends the technical language of the King James Bible with the simplicity and directness of the old Chinese narrative sagas.
Her writing career only began at the age of 41. Now that speaks volumes to me - there's hope for struggling, aspiring writers. I should be grabbing a title from Pearl's collection soon - probably beginning with The Good Earth.
Labels: Author, Literature
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:54 AM,
A Thousand Pieces of Gold
Thursday, March 08, 2007
As a young girl my father often told me, "never forget your roots, or you'll be a worthless person." In that he meant someone who doesn't know where he came from, what he's made of and what he's capable of becoming. How wise my father's advice was! And many years later, I remember his words fresh as if it was spoken to me yesterday, especially so upon my reading of A Thousand Pieces of Gold by Adeline Mah.
Walt Whitman once said, "Into the English language are woven the sorrows, joys, loves, needs and heartbreaks of the common people." The same can be said regarding Chinese proverbs and metaphors.
Renowned British poet, Philip Larkin once described Chinese proverbs as "white dwarfs" of literature because each was so densely compacted with thoughts and ideas. White dwarfs are tiny stars whose atoms are packed so closely together that their weight is huge in relation to their size. The enormous heat radiated from these small stars is equivalent to the vast knowledge and profound wisdom contained in certain sayings gleaned from China.
In this book, Adeline May provides a fascinating window into the history as the cultural soul of China. Combining personal reflections, rich historical insights, and proverbs handed down by her grandfather, she shares the wealth of Chinese civilisation with Western readers. Exploring the history behind the proverbs, she delves into the lives of the first and second emperors and the two rebel warriors who changed the course of Chinese life, adding stories from her own life to beautifully illustrate their relevance and influence today.
Labels: Literature
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:34 AM,
Don't Cry
Friday, March 02, 2007
Don't Cry - Naked
Winter comes for a reason
to purge your soul
with the change of the seasons
I spin out of control
Where can I find you
when you're not even there
no where to find you
Innocent eyes are blinded
when the candle dies
Put your arms around him
there'll be no sleep tonight
How can I help you,
when you're so far away?
No way to help you…
Should I pray?
Don't cry, wipe the tears from your eyes
don't cry, sleep with the souls tonight
There's no where to run, no where to hide
fear is a monster, no end in sight
no screaming, silent screaming
tonight close your eyes, dream
There's no where to run, no where to hide
fear is a monster, no end in sight
no screaming , scream it away
tonight, close your eyes and pray.
Winter comes for a reason
to purge your soul
with the change of the seasons
I spin out of control
Where can I find you
when you're not even there
no where to find you
Innocent eyes are blinded
when the candle dies
Put your arms around him
there'll be no sleep tonight
How can I help you,
when you're so far away?
No way to help you…
Should I pray?
Don't cry, wipe the tears from your eyes
don't cry, sleep with the souls tonight
There's no where to run, no where to hide
fear is a monster, no end in sight
no screaming, silent screaming
tonight close your eyes, dream
There's no where to run, no where to hide
fear is a monster, no end in sight
no screaming , scream it away
tonight, close your eyes and pray.
Labels: Song
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:06 AM,
Redemption
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Maybe it's not so bad to have grown up in a painful home and still trying to patch the many holes. Maybe I'm given such privilege so I can write about it, share it and in the process, bring comfort and consolation to my readers, as The Kite Runner (by Khaled Hosseini) and Chinese Cinderella (by Adeline Yen Mah) did to me.
I have a sneaky suspicion that if we can only lift our foot off our current situation and look at the greater world in need and pain, we will find redemption for our hurting soul.
I have a sneaky suspicion that if we can only lift our foot off our current situation and look at the greater world in need and pain, we will find redemption for our hurting soul.
Labels: Personal reflection
posted by Angeline Tan @ 8:38 AM,
Lovely
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Sis and Sheena
Sheena the rapper
Labels: Family
posted by Angeline Tan @ 12:56 AM,
