Wednesday, February 14, 2007

In retrospect

A journal entry on 18/09/06:

I'm more open, more adept and willing to learn. And the fortunate effect of this attitude is a smoother life with nice little surprises strewn along my path each day. The sky looks bluer, the clouds fluffier, the sun brighter, the rain cooler, the traffic bearable.

But I did not arrive here in a day. It took a necessary long walk along a harrowing stretch of dark valley over 11 grueling months. Months and days where I refused to get out of bed, got to work late or not at all, feigned sick on once too many occasions, displayed unpleasant and sour attitude at work to both fellow colleagues and bosses alike.

As I was slipping down the broad and welcoming well of depression, scratching my nails on the walls of despondency, I was such a pitiful sight even my loved ones offered no solace and I succeeded at disgusting myself. I should thank the good Lord He did not leash His whip from heaven down on my pathetic buttocks. He patiently held my hands and led me through the valley; while I made numerous attempts to break myself free from His grip of grace. Thank God His grip was tighter than my obstinacy. It is good, I must say, to be open and jovial again.

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