I hate silence. I hate being the object of unhappiness and not told of what my wrong is. I hate to be looked at with disdain leaving me with no room for rebound because I am not privy to the mind of another who needs much cajoling in order for the truth to be squeezed out of.
I hate to be so demanding yet so imperfect. I expect of others what I am not able to give. I expect tolerance and patience when I have a short fuse and long memory. I hate jumping to conclusions and not giving others a proper chance of explanation which very often prove me gravely wrong and overtly judgmental. I hate to be so explosive when wronged. I hate not being patient and loving and kind.
Guilty! Guilty!
Guilty, like a commanding officer, screams at me.
Guilty! Guilty!
Guilty, like a sharp javelin, pierces me sharp in my innermost being.
Away from me!
Conviction, like a friend, appears suddenly. I am so engrossed in my pent up negative emotions I am caught unaware. She stoops right next to me and puts her gentle arms around me. She places a hand over my sore heart, pounding with anger… and without much prompting, my heart beat slows down. The haze in my mind starts to clear. I stop breathing hard and start to feel and understand her message. She has come to bring a message of release, forgiveness and love. I was not able to do it by myself. But she came prepared. She brought with her an important tool called “grace”. With that I am able to receive from above...
"Be angry, and DO NOT sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath.
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
AND be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. - Eph 4: 26-32
I hate to be so demanding yet so imperfect. I expect of others what I am not able to give. I expect tolerance and patience when I have a short fuse and long memory. I hate jumping to conclusions and not giving others a proper chance of explanation which very often prove me gravely wrong and overtly judgmental. I hate to be so explosive when wronged. I hate not being patient and loving and kind.
Guilty! Guilty!
Guilty, like a commanding officer, screams at me.
Guilty! Guilty!
Guilty, like a sharp javelin, pierces me sharp in my innermost being.
Away from me!
Conviction, like a friend, appears suddenly. I am so engrossed in my pent up negative emotions I am caught unaware. She stoops right next to me and puts her gentle arms around me. She places a hand over my sore heart, pounding with anger… and without much prompting, my heart beat slows down. The haze in my mind starts to clear. I stop breathing hard and start to feel and understand her message. She has come to bring a message of release, forgiveness and love. I was not able to do it by myself. But she came prepared. She brought with her an important tool called “grace”. With that I am able to receive from above...
"Be angry, and DO NOT sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath.
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
AND be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. - Eph 4: 26-32
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